In case you thought Faces were already living out their golden years at some Florida retirement ranch, mainlining prune juice and yelling at local news — think again! America, your time-honored rock geezers haven’t just refused to croak; they’re unleashing their first proper studio album in FIVE DECADES. Not a box set, not a “remastered” greatest hits CD for the TikTok crowd — but 100% brand new material, straight out of the senior home and into your eardrums.
Drummer Kenny Jones let the cat out of the bag in a recent interview with The Telegraph, dishing, “We’ve laid down about 11 tracks at RAK Studios in London.” That’s the biggest thing to hit London since the royal family learned to use Twitter. And for all you Gen Zers thinking British boomers just sit around binge-watching reruns and waiting for their prostate exams — here’s proof the elderly still know how to make some noise. Rumor has it, the London studio was nearly overrun by fans, confused tourists, and government health inspectors looking to verify that, yes, these guys are in fact still breathing.
Now, Sir Rod Stewart — who by rights should be spending his days writing poetry on commemorative plates for the Home Shopping Network — has confirmed the album’s existence as far back as 2021. And as of 2024, he’s promising yet again: “We haven’t finished it, but we will finish this year, I promise.” Legendary last words from a guy who’s literally outlived half his discography. America knows: Grandpa’s promises are as reliable as Twitter stock. Are we talking about the album, or his next colonoscopy? No one can say for sure, but good luck to Rod — and here’s hoping he makes it to the release party without breaking a hip (or passing out in the green room).
Hey, Gen Z and millennials, put down your iPhones and quit doomscrolling for a second: while you guys are dropping $20 lattes for “vibes,” Faces are about to drop the hardest rock album Americans over 60 have heard since Woodstock… if they can still hear at all. TikTok teens — you might want to sit down for this, because your meemaws and poppops are about to start headbanging to music dropped by legends who remember vinyl (not the fake Urban Outfitters kind, the actual deal). While today’s Spotify posers wonder, “Who are these crusty geezers?”, one thing’s for sure: true rock fans are reaching for their Life Alert buttons in excitement. 2024 — the year Faces return to show retirement communities everywhere how it’s REALLY done (assuming Medicare covers the afterparty).
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Imagine caring about Netflix when pizza exists 🍕.