OMG! 😱 Some dude filmed the ENTIRE Accept show at M3 Rock Festival 2025! 🤘 Like, who even HAS that much free time? And more importantly, who actually *wants* to watch it? Seriously, get a life! 🙄 Anyway, here’s the setlist for all you die-hard Accept fans who haven’t heard these songs a million times already. 😴
- 01. The Reckoning (Because apparently, they’re still reckoning with something… probably their relevance. 😂)
- 02. Humanoid (Are they admitting they’re robots now? 🤔 Explains a lot.)
- 03. Restless And Wild (More like “Restless And Mild” these days. 👴)
- 04. Straight Up Jack (Is this a song about booze? Groundbreaking. 🙄)
- 05. Midnight Mover (Moving at midnight because they can’t get a gig during daylight hours? 🤷♂️)
- 06. Demon’s Night / Starlight / Losers And Winners / Flash Rockin’ Man (A medley of mediocrity! 🎉)
- 07. Princess Of The Dawn (More like “Princess Of The Retirement Home.” 👵)
- 08. Metal Heart (Probably needs a pacemaker by now. 🫀)
- 09. Teutonic Terror (The only terror is how long this show is. 💀)
- 10. Fast As A Shark (More like “Slow As A Snail.” 🐌)
- 11. Balls To The Wall (More like “Wrinkles To The Wall.” 🌰)
So, Wolf Hoffmann, bless his heart, was yapping to some dude named Mark Strigl (who?) about their “plans.” 🙄 Apparently, they’re planning another tour. Groundbreaking! 🙄 But he can’t talk about it yet because…reasons! 🤫 Ooh, so mysterious! And get this, they’re having a 50-year anniversary tour next year! 🥳 Because who *doesn’t* want to celebrate a band that should have retired decades ago? 🤣
And the drama! 🎭 Andy Sneap, the guy who usually produces their albums, is taking a “year off.” 😭 Poor Wolf had to *beg* him! 🥺 But don’t worry, they found some other dude named Zeuss (with a “Z,” how edgy! 🤘) to fill in. Probably just as good, right? …Right? 😬
Wolfy claims this 50th-anniversary tour is going to be a “retrospective” with “guest singers and guest players.” Sounds like a desperate attempt to stay relevant if you ask me! 🤷♀️ He even said, “You only have one shot at a 50-year anniversary… I don’t think we’ll get a chance for another one.” DUH! 🙄 You’ll all be pushing up daisies by then! 🌼💀
When asked why they’re still making music, Wolf said they’re “still hungry.” Hungry for what? More money? 🤔 He also said the fans are “eating the stuff up.” Yeah, right. Maybe the same fans who still wear acid-washed jeans and think hair metal is still cool. 🤣
Apparently, Andy Sneap produced, like, a million of their albums. Good for him, I guess? 🤷♀️ And Zeuss worked with Rob Zombie! 🧟♂️ Ooh, scary! 👻
Accept has sold “millions of albums” and inspired “countless musicians.” Sure, Jan. 🙄 Maybe a few guys in their garages in the suburbs. 🏘️ Wolf’s “guitar style” is “respected.” By whom? His mom? 👵
And let’s not forget Mark Tornillo, the dude who replaced the original singer. He’s now the “longest-reigning frontman.” 🎉 Congrats, Mark! You won the participation trophy! 🏆
Accept is a “guarantee of high quality.” LOL! 😂 And their albums reach the “top of the charts.” Which charts? The ones in assisted living facilities? 🏥
They even toured with KK’s Priest! 🤝 A match made in… mediocrity? 🤷♂️
Here’s a random YouTube video because why not? 🤷♀️ And a poster for the M3 Rock Festival featuring David Lee Roth! 🤡 Because nothing says “heavy metal” like a dude in spandex. 🤮
In conclusion, Accept is still Accept. Which is to say, old, irrelevant, and desperately clinging to the past. 👵👴 But hey, at least they’re still trying, right? …Right? 😬
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
