Oh, joy! Another Gal Gadot movie! Because the world CLEARLY needs more of… that. 🙄 And this time, she’s gracing us with her presence in ‘Ruin,’ a World War II thriller. Because, you know, historical accuracy and nuanced performances are totally her forte. 😂 Matthias Schoenaerts is along for the ride too, probably wondering how he ended up here. Niki Caro, the director, seems to be on a quest to make every possible type of movie, from ‘Whale Rider’ to ‘The Mother’ (starring JLo! 🤯). Can’t wait to see how this turns out… or not. 🤷♀️
So, Gal Gadot’s ‘Snow White’ bombed, huh? Shocking. Absolutely SHOCKING! Who could have predicted that a live-action remake with questionable casting choices and a story that nobody asked for would fail? 🤣 Well, at least she’s got ‘Ruin’ to look forward to. Because nothing says “box office gold” like a somber World War II movie starring Gal Gadot. 😇
According to The Hollywood Reporter (aka, the only source anyone trusts these days… not!), Gadot is joining forces with Matthias Schoenaerts in this cinematic masterpiece. Schoenaerts, bless his heart, is probably just trying to pay the bills. 💸
Niki Caro, the director who brought us such gems as ‘The Mother’ (JLo’s finest work, obviously NOT), is back in the director’s chair. She’s also attached to ‘Beautiful Ruins,’ which sounds like a documentary about Gadot’s film career. 🔥
And let’s not forget Caro’s other World War II triumph, ‘The Zookeeper’s Wife,’ starring Jessica Chastain. Because apparently, Hollywood thinks we can’t get enough movies about brave women battling Nazis. 😴
‘Ruin’ is scheduled to start filming early next year. So, mark your calendars, folks! Or, you know, don’t. Your choice. 😇
What’s the story of ‘Ruin,’ you ask? Well, it’s a tale as old as time: Gal Gadot plays a newly released camp prisoner who teams up with a German soldier (Schoenaerts) to get revenge on some Nazis. Groundbreaking stuff, really. 🤯
The script comes from the Firpo cousins, who also wrote ‘Eternals.’ So, yeah, set your expectations accordingly. 📉 But hey, at least it topped the Black List in 2017! That’s gotta count for something, right? 🤔 (Narrator: It doesn’t.)
These Firpo cousins are also developing a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid series starring Glen Powell and Regé-Jean Page. Because apparently, Hollywood has run out of original ideas. 🤡
Caro is producing, along with Gadot herself. Because who better to produce a movie than the person starring in it? 🤩 (Sarcasm alert!)
Where else can we see Gal Gadot? Well, if you’re a glutton for punishment, you can check out ‘Snow White.’ 💀 Or you can wait for ‘The Runner,’ ‘Hand of Dante,’ ‘Cleopatra,’ the Irena Sendler biopic, or the ‘To Catch a Thief’ remake. Because Gadot is clearly trying to corner the market on remakes and biopics. 🤑
And Matthias Schoenaerts? He’s slumming it in ‘Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow’ and ‘The Old Guard 2.’ But hey, at least he’s also doing a Terrence Malick movie! Gotta keep that indie cred alive, somehow. 😎
When will ‘Ruin’ be in theaters? That’s the million-dollar question! The rights are up for grabs at Cannes. So, if you’re a billionaire with terrible taste in movies, now’s your chance! 🤡
And finally, a list of Gal Gadot’s movies! Because who wouldn’t want to relive such cinematic highs as ‘Fast & Furious,’ ‘Date Night,’ and ‘Keeping Up with the Joneses’? 😂
So, there you have it, folks! Everything you need to know about ‘Ruin,’ the Gal Gadot movie that nobody asked for. But hey, at least it’s something to laugh at, right? 🤣
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
