Oh, honey, grab your popcorn! 🍿 It seems the only thing higher than Katy Perry’s space flight was Trace Cyrus’s blood pressure after witnessing it. This intergalactic escapade, courtesy of Jeff Bezos and his space-bae Lauren Sanchez’s all-female Blue Origin mission (because, feminism? 🤷♀️), has sent ripples of cringe across the internet, with Cyrus leading the charge. He’s accusing Perry of being a total Miley-wannabe, right down to the bleached pixie cut and hip-hop collaborations. Apparently, space travel is just the latest in a long line of Perry’s failed attempts to reignite her career, a career that Trace generously describes as “dying.” 💀
So, let’s rewind to 2012 when Miley Cyrus chopped off her locks, causing a collective internet meltdown. Fast forward to 2017, and who’s rocking a suspiciously similar ‘do? Katy Perry, that’s who. According to Trace’s Instagram rant (because where else would such important cultural commentary take place?), Perry’s team basically sat around a table and said, “Well, Miley’s hair got attention, so…✂️?” Trace’s impression of this strategic meeting is pure gold, by the way. He paints a picture of desperate record execs frantically trying to replicate Miley’s success, first with the haircut, then by throwing Perry into a studio with Migos (post-Miley’s “Bangerz” era collabs with hip-hop royalty, of course). The result? “Didn’t f***ing work,” declares Trace, and honestly, who are we to argue?
But wait, there’s more! When the Migos magic failed to materialize, Perry’s team apparently pivoted to EDM. Because, you know, EDM is *always* hot. 🔥 (Spoiler alert: Still didn’t work.) So, what’s a washed-up pop star to do? Blast off into the cosmos, obviously! 🚀 Except, as Trace so eloquently puts it, “It’s backfiring.” Ouch. Someone get this man a Grammy for brutal honesty.
And the shade doesn’t stop there. Even Martha Stewart, queen of all things domestic, couldn’t resist a little dig. She resurfaced a 2007 video of herself experiencing zero gravity, adding the caption, “In case you spaced out in 2007, Martha has always been ahead of her time.” Subtle. She also threw in a cheeky reference to Perry’s “Firework” lyrics, asking, “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind?” 💀 The burn is so real, we can practically smell the singed plastic.
Meanwhile, brands like Wendy’s have piled onto the Perry-bashing bandwagon, proving that even fast-food chains have better comedic timing than Perry’s career trajectory these days. It seems the whole internet is united in its mockery of this ill-fated space voyage. So, Katy, next time you’re feeling lost in the cosmos, maybe try looking inward instead of upward. Just a thought. And Trace, please keep these Instagram rants coming. The world needs your unfiltered truth. 🙏😂
This whole saga begs the question: what’s next for Katy Perry? A collab with the Teletubbies? A guest appearance on “Paw Patrol”? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: the internet is watching, and we’re fully stocked on popcorn. 🍿😎
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
