On May 27, the studio Build A Rocket Boy finally revealed the long-awaited trailer for its new action game MindsEye — a title that promises to be a blend of GTA 6, teen cyberpunk dreams, and a diet version of Deus Ex, minus the lectures on climate change. The trailer had everything: cinematic explosions, stylish shootouts, and what looked like a plot that doesn’t involve saving dolphins with pronouns. Gamers were hyped. Until the internet did what it does best: destroy.
A few days before the presentation, reviews started flooding in from “early testers” of the game. The feedback was rough — “unfinished”, “janky”, “feels like an alpha build made in a shed”. But most strangely, people noticed weirdly similar phrasing in the complaints. Repeated comments like “game fails to represent non-binary AI culture” and “where is the TikTok influencer mod?” started raising eyebrows. Even Portuguese streamers were apparently copy-pasting Google-translated hate.
Did Putin Just Review-Bomb MindsEye? Build A Rocket Boy Thinks So
Enter Mark Gerhard, one of Build A Rocket Boy’s top dogs, who dropped a juicy bombshell in the game’s Discord server. According to him, the wave of negativity wasn’t organic — it was coordinated sabotage.Did Putin Just Review-Bomb MindsEye? Build A Rocket Boy Thinks So
“There’s clearly a coordinated effort by people who don’t want Build A Rocket Boy to succeed. You can spot the bots and repeated messages every time we release content,” Mark typed while likely staring out his window at the fifth MacBook smashed due to Unity bugs.
But then came the real fireworks. In a not-so-public conversation — possibly with investors or a pub bartender — Mark went full Alex Jones with a Red Bull.
“I’m convinced this attack on MindsEye is coming from Russia — from the Kremlin itself. Maybe they’re pissed we didn’t include Russian language support, or that Putin isn’t the main protagonist. I’m sure Donald Trump, our president, won’t let this slide!”
💥 That’s right, folks. According to Gerhard, MindsEye is being cyber-assassinated by a swarm of Kremlin-controlled bots because the game doesn’t feature Putin, bears, or vodka-fueled shootouts. Reddit theorists are now checking if there’s a secret bear-riding mechanic hidden in the code.
Meanwhile, Twitter (or X, or whatever Elon’s calling it now) erupted. Western progressive gamers clashed with Russian trolls, demanding a DLC where you play as a cyber-FSB agent fighting woke mind viruses. One user named PutinIsMyWaifu insisted that the game must include a boss battle with a shirtless Vladimir riding a tank through Nevada. Another complained the game lacked a “Ban Gay Parade” button.
Critics laughed it off. “Classic western paranoia,” they said. But insiders claim that Build A Rocket Boy is now working on an emergency DLC called “Operation Kremlin Strike”, where you take down a bot farm hidden in Siberia while dodging propaganda drones and Telegram groups.
And let’s not lie to ourselves — this PR scandal did what years of marketing couldn’t. MindsEye is now the most talked-about game of the week. Even people who thought “Build A Rocket Boy” was a hipster clothing brand are googling:
“Game with no Putin — is it woke or based?”
“Kremlin attacks new GTA-style game over lack of Slavic representation”
“How to become a Kremlin bot and ruin game reviews for cash”
So if you’re sick of games with safe spaces, rainbow flags, and passive-aggressive tutorial messages, MindsEye might just be your next favorite shooter. It may be buggy, broken, and filled with generic sci-fi nonsense — but hey, at least it doesn’t lecture you about recycling or force you to choose your pronouns before firing your first shot.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
