**Oh, look, another cinematic masterpiece 🎬 is gracing us with its presence! Verdi Productions, those titans of the silver screen (no, seriously, who are they? 🤔), just wrapped up filming “Bad News On The Doorstep.” Sounds like a real nail-biter, doesn’t it? Or maybe just a rerun of every mob movie ever made. 🤷♂️**
So, apparently, Providence, RI, was transformed into a 1950s wonderland 🕰️ for a few weeks in May. I bet the locals were thrilled! Imagine trying to get to Dunkin’ Donuts 🍩 and being blocked by a vintage car and a bunch of guys in fedoras. 🤦♂️
The story is about two high school football players, Frank and Gino, who are at a “crossroads.” 🙄 I’m guessing this crossroads involves either touchdowns or tommy guns. Groundbreaking stuff, people! 🥇 Dante Palminteri and Nick Davi are playing these complex characters. I’m sure they’re very talented, but let’s be real, the real draw here is their dads. 👴👴
Speaking of nepotism, Chazz Palminteri and Robert Davi are also in the movie! 🎉 Chazz, who apparently hasn’t stopped talking about “A Bronx Tale” since 1993, and Robert Davi, who I mostly remember from “The Goonies” (hey Data! 👋). They’re playing mob kingpins, because of course they are. 👑 I’m sure their performances will be… exactly what you expect. 😴
And let’s not forget Sistine Stallone! 💃 She’s playing Frank’s love interest, Ruth. I’m sure she’s a great actress, but I can’t help but wonder if she got the part because her dad knows how to yell “ADRIAAAN!” 🗣️
But wait, there’s more! 🎁 Rob Gronkowski is also in this cinematic triumph! 🏈 He’s playing a high school football coach, which I’m sure requires all of his acting range. 🎭 I’m expecting a lot of “Yo soy fiesta!” and maybe a touchdown dance or two. 💃🕺
The Palminteri and Davi dads are also producing the film, because why not? 🤷♂️ It’s expected to be released in about a year, so mark your calendars! 🗓️ Or, you know, just watch “The Sopranos” again. 📺
The producers from Verdi Productions are Paul Luba, Chad Verdi Jr., Chad A. Verdi, Michelle Verdi and Sera Verdi. I’m sure they’re all very talented and dedicated, but I’m starting to think “Verdi Productions” is just a bunch of people named Verdi. 👨👩👧👦
In conclusion, “Bad News On The Doorstep” sounds like a movie. 🍿 It has actors, a plot (sort of), and a release date (eventually). Will it be good? Who knows! 🤔 Will it be memorable? Probably not. 🤷♂️ But hey, at least it’s something to do on a rainy day. 🌧️
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
