OMG! James Cameron, the guy who thinks blue aliens are still cool, is slumming it with some fantasy book called ‘The Devils.’ 😈 Seriously, Jim? After milking ‘Avatar’ for, like, 50 sequels, you’re gonna adapt a book about monsters? Sounds original. 🙄
Even though he’s been trapped in the Pandora box for what feels like an eternity, churning out Avatar sequels that nobody asked for, apparently, even James Cameron’s brain 🧠 can’t handle that much CGI Smurf action.
He’s been secretly plotting other cinematic crimes, and while he’s only interested in DIRECTING his sci-fi snooze-fests (Avatar: Fire and Ash? More like Avatar: Snore and Crash 😴), he occasionally dabbles in other projects. Because, you know, he’s James Cameron and can do whatever he wants. 🤷♂️
Now that “Fire and Ash” is slowly cooking in post-production, his company, Lightstorm Entertainment (catchy name), has snatched up the rights to Joe Abercrombie’s “The Devils.” Apparently, it’s a bestseller. Probably because people are desperate for something other than another Avatar movie. 📚
Cameron is going to “co-write” the script with Abercrombie. Translation: Cameron will probably rewrite the whole thing to include more explosions and blue people. He’ll probably pawn off the actual directing to some poor sap. 🎬
Related Article: James Cameron Claims He Has Ideas for Avatar 6 and 7. Someone, please stop him. 🙏
What’s this “The Devils” story even about?
Here’s the official blurb:
“Brother Diaz is summoned to the Sacred City, where he expects praise and a fancy new assignment. Instead, he gets stuck with murderers, magic users, and actual monsters, and a mission that requires them to be extra bloody.”
“Elves are at our borders and want to eat us, while greedy princes only care about themselves. With a hellish journey ahead, Brother Diaz is lucky to have those devils on his side!”
Hmm… a misfit team fighting scary creatures? Sounds totally different from Avatar. NOT. 🙄 Cameron is so predictable. 😴
James Cameron Speaks (yawn) About “The Devils”:
Cameron bleated about why he’s so thrilled to ruin… err, adapt the book:
“How do I describe ‘The Devils?’ A witty horror adventure? Good vs. evil, but you can’t tell who’s who? A twisted alt-universe romp where monsters are your best bet? Twists and turns galore, with Joe’s acerbic wit! Redemption! Heartbreak!”
Translation: “I’m gonna add a bunch of explosions and make it three hours long.” 💣
And he had this to say about Abercrombie:
“I’ve loved Joe’s writing for years! ‘First Law’! ‘Best Served Cold’! ‘Age of Madness’! But ‘The Devils’ made me actually buy the book and partner with him! I’m sure the adaptation will write itself because Joe writes so visually! I can’t wait to ruin… dig into this!”
Translation: “I’m gonna take all the credit.” 💯
Abercrombie, bless his heart, seems excited. Probably because he’s never had his work butchered by Cameron before:
“James Cameron has been thrilling audiences for four decades! He balances action and spectacle with personal stakes! No one can bring this weird book to the screen better than him!”
Translation: “Please don’t ruin my book, Mr. Cameron!” 🥺
What else is Cameron cooking up? Probably more Avatar sequels. 👽
Besides “The Devils,” he’s also been messing with “The Last Train from Hiroshima.” It’s about a Japanese guy who survived BOTH atomic bombs. Talk about a downer. 💀
Again, we don’t know if Cameron will actually direct it. He’ll probably just slap his name on it and let someone else do the heavy lifting, like he did with “Alita: Battle Angel.” 🤖
When will “The Devils” grace our screens?
Since they just optioned the book, don’t hold your breath. The “Hiroshima” project has been stuck in development hell for a decade. ⏳
We can expect “Avatar: Fire and Ash” in December 2025, followed by Avatar 4 in 2029 and Avatar 5 in 2031. Because the world needs more blue people. 🤮
James Cameron Movies List:
Buy James Cameron Movies on Amazon. So you can see how his movies went downhill after Terminator 2. 📉
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
