OMG! 😱 Guns N’ Roses, those geriatric rockers 👴🎸, are apparently still alive and kicking (or at least, attempting to). They’ve just announced the second leg of their “2025” world tour. Yes, you read that right, 2025! Are they sure they’ll even remember what song they’re playing by then? 🤔 This “massive” tour (massive like Axl’s ego, perhaps? 🤣) is hitting Latin America this fall, because, let’s be honest, who else is still buying tickets? 🤷♂️
So, get ready, Latin America! Thirteen more dates of questionable vocals and even more questionable fashion choices are coming your way! 💃🕺 They’re starting in Costa Rica (because why not?) and then slumming it through El Salvador, Colombia, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, Peru, before finally ending their misery in Mexico. 🇲🇽 Someone get Axl a GPS, please! 🙏
Tickets go on sale faster than Axl changes his mind about setlists! 🗓️ Starting Monday, June 9th (mark your calendars, people!), the “Nightrain” presale will be available. I wonder if that includes a free shot of whiskey to endure the show? 🥃 Additional presales will follow on Tuesday, June 10th. Don’t forget to visit gunsnroses.com, if you dare! 💻
Here are the dates for your viewing (or avoiding) pleasure:
Oct. 01 – San Jose, Costa Rica @ Estadio Nacional 🏟️ (Hope they have good orthopedic surgeons on call!)
Oct. 04 – San Salvador, El Salvador @ Estadio Cuscatlan ⚽ (Will they even fill half the stadium?)
Oct. 07 – Bogotá, Colombia @ Vive Claro 🤷 (Vive what, now?)
Oct. 11 – Medellín, Colombia @ Atanasio Girardot ⚽ (More soccer than rock, probably.)
Oct. 14 – Santiago, Chile @ Parque Estadio Nacional 🏞️ (At least the scenery will be nice.)
Oct. 17 – Buenos Aires, Argentina @ Estadio Huracan 🌪️ (Hurricane of bad music, maybe?)
Oct. 21 – Florianópolis, Brazil @ Arena Opus 🎶 (Opus of what, exactly?)
Oct. 25 – São Paulo, Brazil @ Allianz Parque 🌳 (Probably more trees than fans.)
Oct. 28 – Curitiba, Brazil @ Pedreira Paulo Leminski 🪨 (Rock…and rocks!)
Oct. 31 – Cuiabá, Brazil @ Arena Pantanal 🐊 (Hope they don’t get eaten by alligators.)
Nov. 02 – Brasília, Brazil @ Arena BSB 🇧🇷 (BSB? More like BS.)
Nov. 05 – Lima, Peru @ Estadio Nacional 🇵🇪 (National embarrassment, perhaps?)
Nov. 08 – Mexico City, Mexico @ Estadio GNP Seguros 🇲🇽 (GNP? More like RIP.)
GUNS N’ ROSES apparently kicked off their “world” tour in South Korea 🇰🇷. I guess the rest of the world didn’t want them? 😂 This concert marked the debut of their new drummer, Isaac Carpenter. Who? 🤔 Apparently, he replaced Frank Ferrer, because, you know, lineup changes are like Axl’s mood swings – constant and unpredictable. 🤪
Carpenter, from Washington (the state, not the president 🇺🇸), is apparently a drumming prodigy. 🥁 He’s played with everyone from Duff McKagan‘s LOADED (wait, Duff has other bands? 🤯) to AWOLNATION (are they still a thing? 🤷♀️) and even Adam Lambert (okay, that’s kinda cool 😎). He’s known for his “versatility and groove,” which I’m sure will be put to the ultimate test trying to keep up with Axl’s antics. 🏃♂️
GUNS N’ ROSES‘s tour, hilariously titled “Because What You Want & What You Get Are Two Completely Different Things,” is hitting Europe 🇪🇺 this summer. How meta! 😂 The tour concludes on July 31 in Germany 🇩🇪. Hopefully, they won’t start a war. ☮️
Frank, the poor sap who got replaced, joined GUNS N’ ROSES in 2006. He helped anchor the rhythm section, which is like saying he tried to keep a sinking ship afloat. 🚢 His last show was in Mexico in 2023. Adios, Frank! 👋
Ferrer actually played on five songs on “Chinese Democracy” 💿. Yes, that album actually exists. 👻 He also appeared on the live portion of “Hard Skool” EP. Bryan “Brain” Mantia played on the studio tracks, because apparently, one drummer wasn’t enough to make that EP sound decent. 🎧
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
