Oh, honey, guess what? 💅 They’re making another ‘Road House’ movie! 🙄 Because the first one was just *so* good, right? 🤣 Jakey Gyllenhaal is back, because, let’s be honest, he needs the paycheck. 💸 And get this, Dave Bautista might join? Talk about a snooze-fest! 😴
So, apparently, there’s gonna be a sequel to that ‘Road House’ remake, you know, the one where Jake Gyllenhaal tried to convince us he’s a tough guy. 💪 Newsflash: he’s still just the Donnie Darko kid. 🤷♂️
Variety, the same people who think kale smoothies are a good idea, 🥬 are saying Bautista might be in it. I mean, sure, he’s got the muscles, but can he act? 🤔 Doubtful. He’s probably just gonna stand there and look intimidating, while Gyllenhaal tries to remember his lines. 🗣️
And to make things even more exciting (not really), Guy Ritchie is directing. 🙄 Yeah, the guy who made those Sherlock Holmes movies that everyone totally remembers. 🙄 Because nothing says “gritty action” like a British director who probably sips tea on set. ☕
So, the original ‘Road House’ was about Patrick Swayze ripping throats and being all cool and stuff. 😎 The remake? Gyllenhaal in a tank top trying to look like he lifts. 💪 The story? Who cares? It’s just an excuse for dudes to punch each other. 👊
The 2024 version was set in the Florida Keys, because apparently, Missouri wasn’t trashy enough. 🌴 And there was some behind-the-scenes drama because Hollywood execs can’t behave. 🎬 Joel Silver got canned for being a jerk, because, surprise! 🎉
But hey, Amazon loved it! 🤑 They said, “OMG, 80 million people watched it! It’s like our baby!” 👶 Yeah, a baby that screams and throws up everywhere. 🤮
And now, they’re making another one. 🤦♂️ Because why not milk a dead cow? 🐄 Conor McGregor might be back, because apparently, he can act now? 🤡
No release date yet, but who cares? It’ll probably end up on Prime Video, because Amazon doesn’t actually care about theaters. 🤷♀️ They just want you to keep paying for your Prime subscription. 💳
So, yeah, ‘Road House 2: Electric Boogaloo’ (probably not the real title, but it should be) is coming. Get ready for more awkward fight scenes and questionable acting choices. 🍿 Enjoy! (Or don’t, I don’t care.) 😜
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
