OMG! 😱 James Gunn, our supreme overlord of DC, has graced us with his divine wisdom: *The Batman Part II* script is FINISHED! Bow down, peasants! 🙇♀️ I mean, who even cares about Superman when we have BATMAN?!🦇
Jamesy-boy, the Co-Chairman and CEO of DC Studios (basically, he’s the king 👑), has given an early, totally unbiased (🙄) positive review of Matt Reeves’ script. But, like the generous god he is, he decided not to spill all the beans 🫘 about the movie we’re all DYING to see. As if we weren’t already suffering enough! 😫
At the *Superman* premiere (which, let’s be real, is just a distraction from the REAL news), some peasant from ScreenRant dared to ask if he’d read *The Batman Part II* script. Gunn, in his infinite wisdom, simply said: “It’s great!” Like, duh! 🙄 What else would it be? A dumpster fire 🔥?
Then, because he’s too good for us, he scurried away, probably to count his money 💰 and laugh at our pathetic anticipation. But, get this, he was SMILING! 😄 Oh, the humanity! What secrets does that smile hold?! 🤔
Before this earth-shattering confirmation, Gunn admitted he was expecting the script last month and was “totally excited” to read it. Like we care about HIS feelings! 🙄 We’re the ones suffering here!
He told *Entertainment Weekly* (because, you know, peasants like us aren’t worthy of his direct communication), “Listen, we’re supposed to get a script in June. I hope that happens.” Oh, the suspense! 😩 “We feel really good about it. Matt’s excited. I talk to Matt all the time. I’m totally excited about it. So we can’t wait to read the scripts, but we haven’t read it yet, if that’s your question.” Such a tease! 😈
But here’s the real kicker: Gunn told everyone to “get off Matt’s nuts” and stop bothering him for updates. As if we have anything better to do with our lives! 😒
Gunn declared: “People should get off Matt’s nuts because it’s like, let the guy write the screenplay in the amount of time he needs to write it. That’s just the way it is.” Like, duh! 🙄 We’re just supposed to sit here and twiddle our thumbs? 🖕
“He doesn’t owe you something because you like his movie.” Oh, really? So, our adoration and box office dollars mean NOTHING?! 💔
“I mean, you like his movie because of Matt. So let Matt do things the way he does.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give us the movie already! 🎬
Gunn whined that he felt “irritated” by the constant questions. Boo-hoo! 😭 Try being a fan waiting for a sequel! 😤
He sniveled: “I am irritated by people. I mean, it’s just that thing people don’t need to be entitled about. It’s going to come out when he feels good about the screenplay.” Entitled?! We’re practically royalty! 👑
“And Matt’s not going to give me the screenplay until he feels good about the screenplay.” So, basically, we’re at Matt Reeves’ mercy. Great. 😒
*The Batman Part II* was supposed to grace our screens in 2026, but now it’s been cruelly pushed back to October 2027. A whole YEAR! 🗓️ To give Reeves more time? More time for what? To add more brooding? 🌧️ More rain? ☔ More emo music? 🎶 We’re doomed! 💀
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
