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Month: July 2025

**Woof Times: Pawsitively Ruff Economy Forces Furry Friends into Foreclosure**
Elephant Reads CNN

**Woof Times: Pawsitively Ruff Economy Forces Furry Friends into Foreclosure**

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

The Liberal Media is at it again, folks! CNN is now blaming President Trump’s booming economy for people surrendering their…

DOJ Official Suggests Ignoring Court Orders? No Biggie
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Official Suggests Ignoring Court Orders? No Biggie

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Oh, another “whistleblower” suddenly appears just in time to smear a perfectly good Trump nominee? Color me shocked! It’s always…

California Dems Question: Harris as Governor – Genius Move or Epic Fail?
Elephant Reads CNN

California Dems Question: Harris as Governor – Genius Move or Epic Fail?

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s crawling back to California! Kamala “Heels Up” Harris, fresh off her spectacular failure as VP,…

Trump’s Conspiracy BBQ: Will the Flames Finally Toast the Chef
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Conspiracy BBQ: Will the Flames Finally Toast the Chef

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Folks, the liberal media is at it again, trying to drag our glorious President Trump through the mud with these…

Passengers Doing the Hokey Pokey on the Tarmac: You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next
Elephant Reads CNN

Passengers Doing the Hokey Pokey on the Tarmac: You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Another day, another attack on REAL Americans! This time, it’s a “possible landing gear incident” on an American Airlines flight.…

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Geezer Butler, the only reason BLACK SABBATH had any semblance of lyrical coherence (allegedly), has graced us with his profound…

OASIS DEDICATES SONG TO OZZY: IS THIS THE END OF ROCK N’ ROLL
Breaking, Music News

OASIS DEDICATES SONG TO OZZY: IS THIS THE END OF ROCK N’ ROLL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

So, like, OASIS – yeah, those guys who haven’t had a relevant song since your grandma’s dentures were new –…

George Lynch and His Mob of Sycophants Debuts: Prepare for Guitar Wizardry (and Maybe Some Nap-Worthy Moments)
Breaking, Music News

George Lynch and His Mob of Sycophants Debuts: Prepare for Guitar Wizardry (and Maybe Some Nap-Worthy Moments)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

🎸 So, it seems “legendary” (according to whom? 🤔) guitarist George Lynch, fresh off the “LYNCH MOB’s” farewell tour –…

2025 Back To School Community Leftovers Giveaway
Events

2025 Back To School Community Leftovers Giveaway

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 27, 2025

**OMG! Free stuff alert! 🚨 Head to 3518 Fredricksburg Rd, August 2nd, for backpacks 🎒, supplies ✏️, hygiene 🧼, food…

Wilcox House Tour: Prepare to be Underwhelmed on July 27, 2025
Events

Wilcox House Tour: Prepare to be Underwhelmed on July 27, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 26, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Witness Frank Cozza as “Phil” Markham & Samantha Joseph as Blanche Shortman at the historic Wilcox (aka Markham)…

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Latest posts

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  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People
  • Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer
  • Women Should Totally Settle For Less Because Who Needs Self Respect Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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