Well, well, well, look who’s crawling back to California! Kamala “Heels Up” Harris, fresh off her spectacular failure as VP, is considering running for governor. Maybe she figures it’s easier to rule a state than to, you know, secure the border or stop inflation. But don’t worry, folks, I’m sure she’ll bring all her brilliant ideas from the White House to Sacramento!
The Democrats are practically tripping over themselves to avoid answering whether they want Heels Up to run. Rep. Dave Min, bless his heart, ran faster than Hunter Biden from a paternity test when asked about it. Rep. George Whitesides, gave a lukewarm welcome, probably fearing a primary challenge from the queen of wokeness.
The real issue? Heels Up is bringing Biden’s baggage with her. Remember that glorious era? High gas prices, open borders, and a president who looked like he was arguing with ghosts? Yeah, good times. Now, Heels Up has to explain why she couldn’t stop President Trump’s glorious return.
But fear not, patriots! Heels Up has plenty of allies who think she’s the only one who can stand up to Trump’s “pressure campaign” against California. You know, things like enforcing immigration laws and cutting off funding to sanctuary cities. The horror!
Of course, not everyone’s thrilled. Some unnamed Democrats are whispering that Heels Up’s candidacy would “fire up Republicans” and hurt their chances of winning seats. But hey, who cares about winning when you can virtue signal?
And let’s not forget Heels Up’s reputation for “long, drawn-out deliberation.” She’s been asking everyone and their dog whether she should run. Maybe she should consult her Ouija board, too!
But wait, there’s more! Heels Up is also considering starting a 501(c)(4) to “empower younger voters while rethinking institutions key to democracy.” Translation: brainwashing kids and dismantling America!
The best part? Texas is trying to eliminate Democrat seats. Governor Newsom is now threatening to redraw lines to push out Republicans. It is an ugly fight.
And Rep. Young Kim? She just laughed at the idea of Heels Up running. “Seriously, good luck to her,” she said, dripping with sarcasm.
God bless President Trump and God bless America!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
