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Month: July 2025

Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace
Elephant Reads CNN

Netanyahu Declares NYC Mayoral Candidate’s Ideas So Dumb, They’re Basically a Threat to World Peace

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting on how Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu dared to criticize some radical leftist Dem running…

What To Know About The Epstein Files
The Onion

What To Know About The Epstein Files

FinnJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionSome MAGA supporters are turning on President Trump after he walked back campaign promises to declassify information about…

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)
Breaking, Music News

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Behold, feeble humans! Your 👽alien overlords in GWAR, those pioneers of making music that sounds like a garbage truck falling…

Atari and Bandai Namco Team Up to Milking Pac-Man’s Ghostly Corpse for Cash Grab Console and DLC
Breaking, Games News

Atari and Bandai Namco Team Up to Milking Pac-Man’s Ghostly Corpse for Cash Grab Console and DLC

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

**Waka waka waka 🤪! Prepare your wallets, fellow gamers, because Atari and Bandai Namco are BACK, baby, to milk the…

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Drops Spicy New Border Patrol Agent Shootout Vid

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another crime in the once-great state of New York, now a festering sanctuary for illegals and home to…

HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, HATEBREED, those stalwarts of Connecticut hardcore/metal (is there even a difference anymore?🤔), have finally graced us with new music…

Pepsi Jumps on the Bandwagon: Probiotic Soda – Because Regular Soda Wasn’t Unhealthy Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

Pepsi Jumps on the Bandwagon: Probiotic Soda – Because Regular Soda Wasn’t Unhealthy Enough

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another woke corporation bowing down to the liberal mob! Pepsi, once a proud purveyor of sugary goodness, is…

Dying Light 2: Stay Bleak – We Played It So You Don’t Have To
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light 2: Stay Bleak – We Played It So You Don’t Have To

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? I got PAID to hang out in sunny Los Angeles with a bunch of other “journalists”…

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)
Elephant Reads CNN

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over the Epstein files, trying to paint President Trump…

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad
Elephant Reads CNN

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Hollywood leftist Malcolm-Jamal Warner, famous for “The Cosby Show” (before Bill got cancelled by the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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