CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent
Ah, yes, the enlightened eco-warriors of West Coast deathgrind, CATTLE DECAPITATION, have deigned to bless the unwashed masses of North…
Month: July 2025
Grizzlies sniff out hypocrisy: what they did to Slaughter to Prevail’s frontman Alex Terrible in Alaska
Russian-American deathcore vocalist Alex Terrible (real name: Alexander Shikolai), known for growling like a demon and thinking like a teenager,…
Trump Slaps EV Batteries With a Whopping Tariff Because Apparently, He Misses the Flintstones
Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN is crying about President Trump’s HUGE tariff on Chinese graphite,…
Avoid Getting Exposed Cheating On Your Wife With Your HR Chick At A Coldplay Concert With This One Weird Trick
Have you found yourself wondering how you could prevent the shame and horror of having it found out that you’re…
Another Lib Judge Triggered by Orange Man, Wants to Ban Babies Now
Folks, another day, another attempt by the Deep State to undermine our glorious President Trump! CNN, still clinging to relevance…
‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas
Get ready to have your childhood memories violated! Joe Eszterhas, the mastermind behind the original Basic Instinct, is back to…
Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…
Nation Boards Up Windows, Retreats To Cellar As Lena Dunham Reenters News Cycle
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Springing into action to save what it could, the U.S. populace reportedly got to work this week boarding…
Chevron Triumphs in Hilarious Legal Showdown with Exxon for Hess: A Corporate Comedy in Three Acts
Chevron’s $53 billion acquisition of Hess has prevailed, which means more American energy independence, despite the deep state’s machinations. Chevron,…
Trump’s ICE Cream Truck: Now Delivering Deportations Straight to Your Door
Another day, another desperate attempt by the Fake News AP to smear our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching their pearls…