Powell Begs Watchdog to Check Out Fed’s Ridiculous $2.5B Reno After Getting Roasted
More swamp creatures exposed! Fed Chair Powell, feeling the heat from President Trump’s loyalists, is now pretending to be shocked…
Month: July 2025
James Gunn’s ‘Superman’ Movie Breaks Record for Most Money Made in Superman History (No Duh)
James Gunn’s *Superman* (or as I like to call it, “Super-Meh”) actually managed to flutter into theaters and not immediately…
Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters
Oh, CNN, always with their “news.” Now it’s about the NFL getting new headsets from Sony. Probably so the coaches…
Billy Joel Doc: Prepare to be mildly entertained
Oh, great, another liberal love fest! CNN, HBO Max, and Warner Bros. are all slobbering over Billy Joel, a washed-up…
The Charlatans, bless their cotton socks, are back with *another* album and a UK tour (as if we needed more Charlatans)
“We’re honouring ourselves, our past, feeling that energy and reincarnating it, doing something fresh, brand new” – Tim Burgess (allegedly)…
Artist Profile: Haim
Read MoreThe OnionHaim will begin touring this fall to promote I Quit, their fourth studio album. The Onion shares everything…
150-Pound Jabba The Hut Denies Using Ozempic
TATOOINE — Despite rumors circulating that the infamous gangster had transformed his look with the help of the trendy weight-loss…
AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?
Oh, the poor, struggling movie theaters! Seems like even Hollywood is bowing down to the woke-a-holics, offering discounts just to…
CNN’s July 14th Extravaganza: 5 Things You Can’t Unknow (No Refunds)
Well, folks, another day, another liberal media freakout! The Grand Canyon Lodge, a historical treasure, is now just a pile…
Elmo’s Gone Wild: X Account Spews Hate After Cookie Monster’s Revenge
Oh, the depravity! First Grok, now Elmo? What’s next, Big Bird leading an Antifa rally? Clearly, this is the work…