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Month: July 2025

Newsom’s South Carolina Shenanigans: Is He Running for President or Just Really Likes Grits
Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom’s South Carolina Shenanigans: Is He Running for President or Just Really Likes Grits

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Gavin Newsom, the golden-haired liberal from the once-great state of California, is gallivanting around South Carolina, pretending he’s got a…

Carcass Announces They’re Finally Bothering to Visit North America in 2025 (If We’re Still Alive)
Breaking, Music News

Carcass Announces They’re Finally Bothering to Visit North America in 2025 (If We’re Still Alive)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

British extreme metal pioneers CARCASS, those lovable geezers who’ve been churning out the same old riffs since before your dad…

‘Doc’ Antle Gets a Year-Long Spa Day (In Prison) for Animal Shenanigans, Because Apparently Tigers Don’t Like Being Luggage | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Doc’ Antle Gets a Year-Long Spa Day (In Prison) for Animal Shenanigans, Because Apparently Tigers Don’t Like Being Luggage | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another so-called “star” from that godforsaken “Tiger King” show getting what they deserve. Bhagavan “Doc” Antle, probably a…

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses
Breaking, Music News

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🚨 Nicki Minaj, Queen of Shade and Petty Supremacy, Just Decided to Roast Jay-Z and Megan Thee Stallion Like…

OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🥳 Sucker Punch Productions, the geniuses behind that *totally* original samurai game, are gracing…

Dead by Daylight Summons Geriatric Zombie Killers: Rick, Michonne, and Daryl Shuffle Uneasily into The Fog
Breaking, Games News

Dead by Daylight Summons Geriatric Zombie Killers: Rick, Michonne, and Daryl Shuffle Uneasily into The Fog

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, great, more content for Dead by Daylight. As if we needed more reasons to get camped in the basement.…

Israeli Journo Throws Epic Tantrum: “War’s Taking Too Long, I Want My Latte Now” | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Israeli Journo Throws Epic Tantrum: “War’s Taking Too Long, I Want My Latte Now” | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is at it again, pushing their anti-Israel agenda! “Less patience for this war,” says some leftist journalist…

End of Cuteness: Abyss Totes Becomes Top-Down Terror—and I’m Totally Not Crying Inside
Breaking, Games News

End of Cuteness: Abyss Totes Becomes Top-Down Terror—and I’m Totally Not Crying Inside

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Okay, so I watched the Summer Game Fest showcase at the YouTube Theatre 🙄, and apparently, I was supposed to…

Puscifer, the band no one can spell, Somehow Manages to Book Two LA Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Puscifer, the band no one can spell, Somehow Manages to Book Two LA Gigs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

🤣OMG! You guys will NEVER guess what’s happening! PUSCIFER, aka Maynard’s side-hustle when he’s not busy being cryptic in TOOL…

OMG! Witkoff Predicts Gaza Ceasefire by Next Week, While Trump and Bibi Plan World Domination
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Witkoff Predicts Gaza Ceasefire by Next Week, While Trump and Bibi Plan World Domination

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine President Trump’s brilliant foreign policy! Steve Witkoff, a true…

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Latest posts

  • Man Needing Break From Reality Turns On CNN
  • What To Know About ‘Backrooms’
  • Liberal celebrities use trash TV to bond with brainwashed youth somehow
  • Ceasefire Rages Across Middle East
  • Trump-heroically battles treasonous sanctuary cities and idiot states somehow still

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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