CNN: Justice Department Says Epstein Did Himself In, No Juicy Client List to See Here, Folks
The Justice Department, under the iron fist of President Trump, is now saying there’s no “client list” from that scumbag…
Month: July 2025
Insecure Woman Doesn’t Like Eating In Front Of Surveillance State
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Attributing her behavior to insecurity about the government, local woman Kirsten Sears told reporters Monday that she…
Matt Cameron FINALLY Escapes Pearl Jam After Torturous 27-Year Sentence
Breaking News! 🚨 Matt Cameron, the guy who hits things in PEARL JAM, has finally realized he’s been playing the…
Sananda Maitreya, bless his heart, crawls out of obscurity for a UK tour after 23 years
Sananda Maitreya, formerly known as Terence Trent D’Arby (because apparently, one name wasn’t pretentious enough), announces a whopping nine-date UK…
CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel
Oh, CNN, always spinning tales of “stabilization” after President Trump’s *unprecedented* smackdown of Iran. Unprecedented because no other President had…
“OMG! U.S. Is Giving Away Free Stuff (But Only in Like, a Million Tiny Zones)”
CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining about President Trump’s tariffs, claiming companies are using “Depression-era” policies to avoid…
Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised
Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, the liberal lunacy! Elon Musk, once a beacon of innovation, has apparently succumbed…
Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man
So, LAMB OF GOD, bless their little metal hearts, got to play at Ozzy Osbourne’s “farewell” (yeah, right, we’ve heard…
JD Vance, the Brains Behind Trump’s Foreign Policy? You Gotta Be Kidding Me
Oh, CNN is at it again, trying to make our great VP Vance look like he’s changed his mind. These…
Camp Mystic’s Soggy Apocalypse: 27 Campers Take a Dive, Counselors Join the Underwater Party
Another day, another tragedy, and you just know the liberal media is going to blame President Trump somehow. A girls’…