Republicans Distract From Epstein Controversy By Each Sharing Most Embarrassing Moment Of Life
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In a move that ignited numerous media firestorms expected to last for several news cycles, the GOP provided…
Month: September 2025
Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read Chronicles Of Narnia
MILWAUKEE, WI — In a dreadful act of willful disobedience, sinful rebellious homeschooler Jaxsyn Clement stayed up past 9:30 p.m.…
Secret Service Uncovers 300 Servers That Could Turn NYC into a No-Selfie Zone
Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by the incredible men and women of our law enforcement! The Secret Service…
Alright Alright Alright, McConaughey Loses His Way on ‘The Lost Bus,’ Tears Guaranteed
OMG 😱, you guys will NOT believe this! “The Lost Bus” is hitting Apple TV+ on October 3, 2025, and…
America’s New King of Suds: Prepare for Disappointment
Another victory for REAL American beer! Finally, folks are waking up and ditching that woke swill. Looks like common sense…
Painkiller: Now With Extra EXPLOSIONS and ANGELS (because why not)
Ah yes, 3D Realms, the kings👑 of milking nostalgia, are back at it again! They’ve bravely decided to slap a…
Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Career Enters WWE-Style Cage Match with Broadcast TV’s Decrepit Corpse
Oh, the drama! The liberal elites thought they could silence our beloved President Trump by going after Jimmy Kimmel? Think…
Palworld: PalFart, Where Your Pals Finally Produce Something Useful (Besides Trauma)
Oh, honey, hold onto your hats 👒 because Pocketpair, those masterminds of “totally original” ideas 💡, haven’t slowed down one…
Tears For Fears’ “Songs From The Big Chair” Turns 40, Still Not Actually A Chair
OMG! 😱 Another 40th-anniversary edition of Songs From The Big Chair – by those TOTALLY obscure guys, Tears For Fears…
Google Claims 90% of Tech Nerds Now Relying on Robots to Do Their Jobs, World About to End
Another day, another sign of the impending socialist takeover, folks! This time, it’s those Google-loving liberals pushing their AI agenda,…