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Month: September 2025

Dragon Quest Creator, the Great Yuji Horii, Explains Why Dragon Quest VII Got a Remake Before the Others (Prepare for Disappointment)
Breaking, Games News

Dragon Quest Creator, the Great Yuji Horii, Explains Why Dragon Quest VII Got a Remake Before the Others (Prepare for Disappointment)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🤪 It’s the Dragon Quest remake-a-thon, folks! Square Enix is just churning these bad…

Jujutsu Kaisen’s Trailer Just Dropped, Promising More Teenage Angst and Eldritch Abominations in the ‘Culling Game’ (Whatever That Is)
Breaking, Movie News

Jujutsu Kaisen’s Trailer Just Dropped, Promising More Teenage Angst and Eldritch Abominations in the ‘Culling Game’ (Whatever That Is)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! JUJUTSU KAISEN: Execution is here to milk your wallets dry with a “movie” that’s basically just…

New Guy at Central Bank Says Tariffs Not Inflating Your Already Empty Wallet, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

New Guy at Central Bank Says Tariffs Not Inflating Your Already Empty Wallet, LOL

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Another day, another Deep State attempt to undermine the brilliance of President Trump’s economic policies! This time, it’s the Fed,…

Jeff Zients, Ex-Biden Wingman, Singing the Blues About Biden’s Brain? CNN’s Got the Mic
Elephant Reads CNN

Jeff Zients, Ex-Biden Wingman, Singing the Blues About Biden’s Brain? CNN’s Got the Mic

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Another day, another leftist cover-up crumbles! CNN begrudgingly reports on the House probe into Biden’s mental decline. It’s about time…

As If! 30 Years of Peak Stupidity
Live

As If! 30 Years of Peak Stupidity

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 18, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Like, AS IF anyone cares about 30 years of Clueless! 💿✨ But if you’re, like, totally buggin’, head…

Yo Cuento: More Like Yo Snoozo
Live

Yo Cuento: More Like Yo Snoozo

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 18, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 “Yo Cuento: Entre Ríos Y Desiertos” at Patagonia Pasadena! Prepare for virtue signaling! 🎬 Big Bend National Park,…

“It’s Assault, Not an Appetizer!”: Anaconda Chokes on Jack Black, Sparks Lawsuit Against Columbia Pictures
Hollywood Scandal: Anaconda Refuses to Finish Jack Black, Calling Him "Toxic Fast Food"
Movie News

“It’s Assault, Not an Appetizer!”: Anaconda Chokes on Jack Black, Sparks Lawsuit Against Columbia Pictures

FinnSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

The film world has been rocked by a scandal that smells not just of multimillion-dollar lawsuits, but also of a…

Joe Lynn Turner to Judge Russia’s ‘Intervision 2025’: Because Eurovision Wasn’t Bad Enough
Breaking, Music News

Joe Lynn Turner to Judge Russia’s ‘Intervision 2025’: Because Eurovision Wasn’t Bad Enough

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Folks, hold onto your wigs 👩‍🦰! The legendary (or not-so-much, depending on your tolerance for questionable life choices) Joe Lynn…

GTA 6 Apps Leaked: 5 Features That Will Make You Question Reality (and Your Life Choices)
Breaking, Games News

GTA 6 Apps Leaked: 5 Features That Will Make You Question Reality (and Your Life Choices)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

GTA 6, slated for release on May 26, 2026 (mark your calendars, folks, it’s gonna be YUGE!📅), is causing more…

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! Ozzy Osbourne, that decrepit geezer who somehow managed to make a career out of mumbling and biting bats🦇, apparently…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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