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Month: September 2025

Ivory Tower Insecurity: Universities Triggered by Trump Double Down on Lobbying, Desperately Clinging to Relevance
Elephant Reads CNN

Ivory Tower Insecurity: Universities Triggered by Trump Double Down on Lobbying, Desperately Clinging to Relevance

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Folks, can you believe the swamp these universities are swimming in? President Trump is draining it, one leftist indoctrination center…

DC throws a tantrum, sues Daddy Trump over his toys (National Guard)
Elephant Reads CNN

DC throws a tantrum, sues Daddy Trump over his toys (National Guard)

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The radical leftist Attorney General of D.C., Brian Schwalb, is suing our glorious President Trump…

Florida GOP Ends Vaccine Mandates: Playing with Fire or Just Being Florida?
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida GOP Ends Vaccine Mandates: Playing with Fire or Just Being Florida?

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, those radical Republicans in Florida, finally standing up to the tyranny of…vaccines? It seems the Sunshine State is ditching…

Witness the trainwreck: Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi desecrate Wuthering Heights in Emerald Fennell’s dumpster fire of an adaptation
Breaking, Movie News

Witness the trainwreck: Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi desecrate Wuthering Heights in Emerald Fennell’s dumpster fire of an adaptation

FinnSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

From the depths of Hollywood’s recycling bin 🗑️ and the twisted mind of ✨Emerald Fennell✨ (yes, the “Promising Young Woman”…

Harvard Judge Throws Shade: Trump Admin Plays the Jew Card, Claims CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Judge Throws Shade: Trump Admin Plays the Jew Card, Claims CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative protecting the liberal elite! This activist judge, probably a Soros plant, claims our beloved…

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)
Breaking, Music News

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

So, Jack Osbourne, bless his little cotton socks, decided to grace us with his presence and tell us all about…

Justice Department Wants to Play With Dominion’s Toys in Missouri’s 2020 Sandbox
Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Department Wants to Play With Dominion’s Toys in Missouri’s 2020 Sandbox

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, the Deep State is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make it look like our glorious President Trump…

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Stumble Guys: A Crossover Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Movie News

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Stumble Guys: A Crossover Nobody Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, great, the universe has spoken, and apparently, what we needed was for the profound and meticulously crafted world of…

American Housewives Mistake Trailer for “A House of Dynamite” as a Real Nuclear Attack
Women Grab Kids and Run: Bigelow’s Film Promo Sparks Nationwide Hysteria
Movie News

American Housewives Mistake Trailer for “A House of Dynamite” as a Real Nuclear Attack

FinnSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

The TV premiere of Kathryn Bigelow’s new thriller “A House of Dynamite” turned into the dumbest mass panic of the…

NINE INCH NAILS Drops a Music Video for ‘As Alive As You Need Me To Be’ (Yeah, Okay Trent)
Breaking, Music News

NINE INCH NAILS Drops a Music Video for ‘As Alive As You Need Me To Be’ (Yeah, Okay Trent)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

“Tron: Ares (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)”, brought to you by those musical geniuses at NINE INCH NAILS (because who else…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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