Baltimore Beat: More Like Baltimore Flop
**OMG! 🙄 You’re invited to “The Beat Goes On,” a snoozefest doc about Baltimore Beat, the RIP of Baltimore City…
Month: November 2025
“TABLES TURNED” More Like “SALADS TOSSED” At This Trainwreck Premiere
**OMG! 🙄 Prepare for “TABLES TURNED,” a psychological thriller so thrilling, you’ll need new pants!👖 Meet the “amazingly talented” cast…
Kerry Coddett Dives Headfirst into the Comedy Mudhole
**Mudhole: the TRUE story of a Brooklyn girlie surviving EVERYTHING! Eris Mainstage is the place to be, doors🚪at 7:00 PM,…
Five Guys Now Offering 50-Year Burger Financing
ALEXANDRIA, VA — Inspired by the Trump White House’s move toward 50-year mortgages, popular burger chain Five Guys announced…
DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern
BATH, ENGLAND—Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator’s life, University of Bath researchers revealed DNA…
Dodge Introduces New Truck Headlights That Blast Gamma Ray Bursts Into Your Eyeballs
AUBURN HILLS, MI — Truck manufacturer Dodge unveiled new headlights today that would come standard with new models and…
Bose Introduces New Mariah Carey-Canceling Headphones For Christmas
FRAMINGHAM, MA — Going out in public during the holiday season without being overcome with the desire to shove…
Poem On Statue Of Liberty Updated To Read ‘No Fatties’
NEW YORK, NY — As part of a change in immigration policy designed to limit the incoming of foreign…
‘Lucifer Bee’ With Devil-Like Horns Discovered In Australia
Australian researchers identified a new species of native bee with tiny horn-like projections on the female’s face, prompting comparisons…
Ghislaine Maxwell Conceals Escape Tunnel Behind Pinup Poster Of Shirley Temple
The post Ghislaine Maxwell Conceals Escape Tunnel Behind Pinup Poster Of Shirley Temple appeared first on The Onion. The…