Brace your taste buds and credit cards, peasants! 🤑 DSTRKT Events demands your presence at FRAICHE Restaurant on Sunday, January 18th, from 3pm to 8pm.
Ignore the fact that January 18th was a Monday in 2025—math is for losers. We are hosting the “PRETTY BROWN EYES” R& B dinner party where the music (DJ Zombie & DJ Shadee) is strictly R& B, Neo Soul, and Afro Jazz (despite “Afro Jazz” sounding like a geography quiz). Come for the Martini Towers, stay for the Henna Artist, and pretend Wes Felton’s art is life-changing. 🎨
Stan Mon will capture your “Photo Worthy” moments (filter required). This is strictly 30 & Up mature vibes, meaning no Millennials allowed (just kidding, please spend money). 🍸
Admission is FREE with RSVP, but “Table Reservations ONLY” because standing is for peasants. First-come-first-served seating is basically the bar area, so prepare your elbows. 🚫
Zero tickets? Zero problem! Just RSVP on Instagram @dstrktdc for “real time updates” (allegedly). Questions? Email [email protected] or read the FAQ that no one reads. 📧
Share this event so your friends can drink well, eat good, and make “memories” (blurry photos). See you at FRAICHE Restaurant! 🍻📍
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
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