Paddleboat Ride Enjoyable For Seven Seconds
STANLEY, ID — A paddleboat ride at a local lake resulted in about seven seconds of enjoyment for a…
Day: March 23, 2026
Scorsese and DiCaprio Finally Reunite to Pretend They’re Not Getting Older
Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio are at it again, because apparently making six movies together wasn’t enough to satisfy their…
Watch: SEPULTURA Unleashes New Song ‘The Place’ Live, Because Why Not?
Oh look, it’s everyone’s favorite Brazilian/American metal experiment, SEPULTURA, playing their “new” song “The Place” live for the first time…
THE PRETTY RECKLESS’s TAYLOR MOMSEN: ‘My New Obsession’s Crocheting. I Find It Meditative.’
In what can only be described as a cosmic act of mercy, THE PRETTY RECKLESS has finally emerged from a…
Ranking The Resident Evil Games For The 30th Anniversary – Because Some Zombies Deserve More Love Than Others
Alright, Resident Evil fans, buckle up. We’re diving headfirst into the best and worst of the series’ 30-year history. It’s…
Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin
Markwayne Mullin has been nominated to succeed Kristi Noem as the secretary of homeland security. The Onion shares everything…
Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a promising sign that the weeks-long conflict in the Middle East could soon be over,…
How the hell does he do that?
He was arrested after this for littering! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…
President Trump is right’: The White House’s Favorite Lie About Trump’s ‘Alternative Facts
Hey, fellow Americans! Welcome to another thrilling edition of “When the White House Tells the Truth!” Spoiler alert: it’s not…
Gas Prices Hit $4/Gallon: Your Wallet Weeps, Economy Shrugs
President Donald J. Trump has once again proven his economic genius as gas prices teeter on the brink of $4…