Whiners: DHS Employees Still Getting Free ObamaCare
The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that our great nation is somehow flawed, that our…
Month: March 2026
Tiger Woods’ Liver Photographed Crawling Out Of Golfer After Crash
JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Dazed and battered as it dragged itself to safety, the liver belonging to Tiger Woods was photographed…
Rusty TSA Agent Sticks Hand Into Wrong Cavity
The post Rusty TSA Agent Sticks Hand Into Wrong Cavity appeared first on The Onion. The post Rusty TSA…
Scientists Invent Revolutionary Kids’ Bike That Uses Pedals Instead Of Electric Power
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reportedly developed an innovative new children’s bike that uses…
Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’ Films
WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into…
‘Good News, You’re Finally Useful,’ Says Trump As He Sends Aquaman To Strait Of Hormuz
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a plan on Monday to open up the Strait of Hormuz later…
MLB Umpires Admit They’ve Kinda Just Been Guessing This Whole Time
U.S. — As baseball’s opening weekend ended with the sports world buzzing about the new Automated Ball-Strike System changing…
RUSH Finally Replaces Legendary Drummer With Some Random Chick Off Craigslist ANIKA NILLES Because Who Needs Experience Anyway
The legendary Canadian rock band RUSH has finally emerged from their cave, and they’re ready to rock… again 🤘. Geddy…
Lazy TSA workers finally get paid to do their job
Oh boy, are the fake news outlets at it again, trying to take down our great President Donald Trump with…
U.D.O. Finally Emerges From Retirement Home To Announce New Album That Will Definitely Not Give You A Midlife Crisis In Early 2027 Because Who Needs Timely Releases Anyway
In a shocking turn of events, the one and only Udo Dirkschneider, the former ACCEPT and current U.D.O. and DIRKSCHNEIDER…