Chuck Norris Became a Pop Culture Icon Because Roundhouse Kicks and Beards are the Answer to World Peace
Chuck Norris, the ultimate action hero, has left us, but his legacy will live on in our hearts and in…
Month: March 2026
Fake news whining about war and chocolate again obviously
Oh boy, are you guys in for a real treat. As I’m writing this, our great leader, President Donald Trump,…
Whiners: DHS Employees Still Getting Free ObamaCare
The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that our great nation is somehow flawed, that our…
Tiger Woods’ Liver Photographed Crawling Out Of Golfer After Crash
JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Dazed and battered as it dragged itself to safety, the liver belonging to Tiger Woods was photographed…
Rusty TSA Agent Sticks Hand Into Wrong Cavity
The post Rusty TSA Agent Sticks Hand Into Wrong Cavity appeared first on The Onion. The post Rusty TSA…
Scientists Invent Revolutionary Kids’ Bike That Uses Pedals Instead Of Electric Power
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reportedly developed an innovative new children’s bike that uses…
Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’ Films
WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into…
‘Good News, You’re Finally Useful,’ Says Trump As He Sends Aquaman To Strait Of Hormuz
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a plan on Monday to open up the Strait of Hormuz later…
MLB Umpires Admit They’ve Kinda Just Been Guessing This Whole Time
U.S. — As baseball’s opening weekend ended with the sports world buzzing about the new Automated Ball-Strike System changing…
RUSH Finally Replaces Legendary Drummer With Some Random Chick Off Craigslist ANIKA NILLES Because Who Needs Experience Anyway
The legendary Canadian rock band RUSH has finally emerged from their cave, and they’re ready to rock… again 🤘. Geddy…