HBO Max is bringing back The Gilded Age in November, because what the world really needed was more of the same rich people problems we’ve been watching for years. The streaming service is promoting this as the big title for the month, and who can blame them? It’s not like they have anything better to offer, like actual original content or something. The Gilded Age, Season 4, will be available on November 1, along with a plethora of other movies and shows that will undoubtedly be forgotten in a month.
The list of new additions to HBO Max in November is a laundry list of familiar titles and sequels. Because, you know, Hollywood has completely run out of ideas and is now relying on rehashing the same old stuff. We’ve got The First Purge, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, and Scream, because who doesn’t love a good horror movie? And, of course, we can’t forget about the documentaries, like Tadej Pogačar: Anatomy of a G.O.A.T., which will undoubtedly be a thrilling watch for all the cycling fans out there.
The Usual Suspects
November 1 will also see the release of City Of God: The Fight Rages On, Season 2, because who doesn’t love a good sequel to a show they forgot existed? And, because we can’t get enough of food shows, we’ve got Holiday Baking Championship, Season 13, and Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking, Season 3. Because, you know, the world was just missing a show about wizards baking.
The rest of the month is filled with more of the same. We’ve got new seasons of Batwheels, House Hunters International, and Beat Bobby Flay, because these shows will never die. And, of course, we can’t forget about the movies. We’ve got The Predator, Red Sparrow, and The Wolverine, because who doesn’t love a good action movie?
The Never-Ending Cycle
It’s all just the same old cycle. Release a show or movie, promote it as the next big thing, and then forget about it a month later. It’s like the studios think we have the attention span of goldfish. “Oh, look, a new show! Let’s watch it for a week and then forget about it!” It’s exhausting.
And don’t even get me started on the so-called “original content.” Tony, the Anthony Bourdain biopic, is probably the most interesting thing on the list, but even that feels like a cash grab. I mean, who doesn’t love Anthony Bourdain, but do we really need a biopic?
The Content Mines remain fully operational, and the studios are still churning out the same old familiar titles and sequels. Somewhere a Focus Group earned another bonus for telling the studios exactly what they wanted to hear. And the Marketing departments have once again declared history to be “made.”
It’s all just so…tired. The Franchise Resurrection Department is still one of the busiest offices in Hollywood, and the Merchandising Department is still cranking out the same old toys and t-shirts. It’s like they think we’re just going to keep eating it up, like zombies or something.
And, of course, the streaming executives are still searching for fresh ideas inside movies released between 1982 and 2008. Because, you know, that’s where all the good ideas are. Not in actual original content, but in rehashing the same old stuff.
The never-ending cycle of sequels and remakes will continue, and we’ll all just be along for the ride. So, go ahead and watch The Gilded Age, Season 4. I’m sure it’ll be thrilling. But, honestly, I’d rather be watching something, anything, else.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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