Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🤪 Another year, another avalanche of “wholesome” games designed to lull you into a false sense of security before you realize you’ve wasted your precious time on digital cotton candy. 🍬🍭 Wholesome Direct 2025 is here, and it’s more saccharine than ever! Prepare for a sugar rush that will leave you craving something, ANYTHING, with a bit of edge. 🔪
The Wholesome Direct 2025 graced our screens via YouTube and Twitch, because where else would you showcase games about managing vending machines and cooking virtual omelets? 🍳 This year, a whopping 60 games were announced, proving that quantity definitely trumps quality when it comes to “wholesome” content. 🙄 To save you the trouble of actually watching the showcase (because, let’s be honest, you have better things to do), we’ve compiled a list of the highlights, or what passes for highlights in this parallel universe of gentle gaming.
First up, we have STORY OF SEASONS: Grand Bazaar. 🐑🥕 Apparently, Zephyr Town is in shambles, and it’s your job to fix it by… farming? Groundbreaking. 🤯 You’ll be raising animals, harvesting crops, and selling goods, because nothing screams “excitement” like virtual agriculture. This “significant step forward” for the franchise boasts “enhanced visuals” (probably just slightly less pixelated), “new characters” (likely just reskins of the old ones), and “full voice acting” (prepare for some cringe-worthy performances). Coming to Steam, Nintendo Switch, and Nintendo Switch 2 (yes, because we needed another Switch), because why not milk the franchise dry? 🐄
Next, we have Omelet You Cook. 🥚🍳 A “cozy yet chaotic roguelike” where you make omelets for ungrateful students. Sounds thrilling, right? 🤣 You grab ingredients from a conveyor belt (innovative!), earn money (to buy more virtual ingredients, duh!), and face the wrath of Principal Clucker (who probably has higher standards than Gordon Ramsay). Available now on Steam, because who wouldn’t want to spend their hard-earned cash on an omelet-making simulator? 🤡
Then there’s Is This Seat Taken?. 💺 A “quirky puzzle game” where you play matchmaker for wacky characters with pet peeves. 🤪 You have to find the perfect seat for everyone, because apparently, that’s a challenge worthy of a video game. Developed by Poti Poti Studio (say that five times fast!) and published by Wholesome Games Presents (because they’re so proud of this masterpiece), it’s coming to Steam, iOS, Android, and Nintendo Switch in August 2025. Get ready to question your life choices as you try to seat a virtual character with an aversion to polka dots. 🤡🤡🤡
MakeRoom is here to fulfill your interior design dreams… in miniature! 🏡 Decorate dioramas and create furniture for cats, vampires, and other discerning clients. With over 1,000 furniture pieces, you can craft everything from a compact kitchen to a cozy camper van. Just make sure you complete those objectives for the inhabitants of MakeRoom Island, because virtual validation is what we all crave, right? Launching on Steam on August 7, 2025, because your real-life home is clearly not enough. 😒
Ever dreamed of being an 11-year-old doing odd jobs? Milano’s Odd Job Collection is here to make that dream a reality! 👧🍕 Originally developed by Westone, Milano is back to deliver pizzas, bake cakes, and milk flying cows. Yes, you read that right, FLYING COWS. 🐄🦬 Published by XSEED Games, this gem is coming soon to Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4 and 5, Xbox Series X|S, and PC via Steam, GOG, and the Windows Store. Get ready to grind those part-time jobs and shop for cool gear, because that’s what life is all about! 🙄
Vending Dokan!: Kozy Kiosk lets you create and manage a vending machine empire. 🏧 Design locations, hire staff, and maintain morale, because vending machines have feelings too, apparently. This “unique idle simulation title” allows you to either actively play or let it run in the background, because who needs a life when you can have a virtual vending machine empire? Available now on Steam, because the world needed another idle game. 😴
And finally, we have Fishbowl. 🐠 An “emotional story” about a girl named Alo starting a new job and grieving her grandmother. Get ready for video calls with friends, working from home, and going through old belongings. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions as you do house chores and practice self-care, because that’s what makes a compelling video game. Launching soon on Steam and PlayStation 5, because everyone loves a good dose of virtual sadness. 😢
But wait, there’s more! Here’s a full list of the other games announced at Wholesome Direct 2025, in case you’re a masochist who enjoys torturing themselves with “wholesome” content:
Leaf Blower Co. – Because who doesn’t love virtual yard work? 🍃
Instants – Capture the fleeting moments of… something? 📸
Groudlets Together – Sounds like a gardening game for toddlers. 🌱
Luma Island – Pirates! Because even wholesome games need a bit of swashbuckling. 🏴☠️
Ambroise Niflette & the Gleaned Bell – Sounds like a French indie film. 🇫🇷
Let’s Build a Dungeon – Because even wholesome games can be a bit twisted. 😈
Squeakross: Home Squeak Home – A puzzle game about… mice? 🐭
Monument Valley 3 – Okay, this one’s actually good. But it’s still “wholesome.” 🏞️
Big Hops – A game about… hopping? 🐇
Little Kitty, Big City – Because cats are always wholesome. 😻
Winter Burrow – A cozy game about a mouse in a burrow. 🐁
Tales of the Shire: A The Lord of the Rings Game – Hobbits doing… wholesome things? 🧝
Haunted Paw – Spooky but still wholesome! 👻
The Guardian of Nature – Save the environment, the wholesome way! 🌳
Seasonala Cemetery – A cemetery… that’s wholesome? 🤔
Camper Van: Make it Home – Live the van life, virtually!
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
