Okay, so Pragmata, the game we all forgot existed after its 2020 announcement, dared to show its face at Summer Game Fest 2025. 🙄 And apparently, someone actually got to play it! The hype is real, folks! Or is it? 🤔 I mean, I was initially convinced this was vaporware, but now I’m only 99% sure. After a whole 20 minutes, this “journalist” is “excited.” Twenty minutes! I spend more time deciding what to order for lunch. But hey, at least it’s launching in 2026, so we have plenty of time to forget about it again. 🤷♂️
So, the game’s shrouded in mystery, which is just a fancy way of saying “we don’t know what’s going on.” You play as Hugh Williams, who’s as clueless as the rest of us. But wait, there’s Diana, an android in the form of a young girl! Because nothing says “originality” like a child android. 🤖👧 Apparently, she can hack into robots, which is useful because, you know, robots are trying to kill you. It’s like Capcom took every sci-fi trope and threw them into a blender. Genius! 🍹
The game gives you a reason to care about the characters, which is a bold claim. I mean, who cares about a clueless dude and a hacking android? But hey, the mystery of the lunar research station is intriguing, so maybe there’s hope. Or maybe it’s just a cheap way to keep you playing. 🤷♂️ Only a small amount was teased, so it’s hard to say where things are going. Yeah, because they don’t know either.
The demo starts strong, which means it probably peaks early. Hugh faces a killer AI android, because of course he does. Diana saves the day by hacking the robot, because that’s her only purpose. It’s all about hacking enemies while fighting, which sounds like a recipe for frustration. But hey, at least it’s unique! Or is it? 🤔
“Pragmata does a good job of setting the stage and world early on, giving you a reason to not only care about the characters but also to progress through the story.” Yeah, if you say so. I’m still not convinced.
Hacking is the big selling point, which is like saying the best part of a root canal is the drill. But apparently, Capcom has made it “genuinely fun.” I’ll believe it when I see it. Shooting enemies is ineffective, because why would you make a game where shooting works? Instead, you have to hack them! It’s a relatively simple mini-game, but it gets harder! And you have to juggle multiple enemies! It sounds like a nightmare. 😵💫
Things slow down during hacking, giving you a break from the chaos. But it’s still frantic! It’s a unique concept that this reviewer didn’t expect to enjoy, which means they probably hated it. But Capcom has done a solid job making it feel fluid, so maybe there’s hope. Or maybe they’re just paid to say that. 💰
There are pickups that help make the challenge more manageable, because of course there are. Different guns boost your attack power or slow enemies, because that’s not generic at all. The reviewer admits that it felt relatively manageable, which means it was probably too easy. The gameplay quickly started to feel a bit repetitive, which is the kiss of death. They’re hoping Capcom can find new ways to push the player, which is code for “this game needs more content.” 😩
The demo stopped just as the reviewer entered the boss area, which is the ultimate tease. They were excited to see how a boss encounter could unfold, but they didn’t get to see it! It’s like ordering a pizza and only getting the crust. 🍕 They’re hopeful that Capcom has some new ideas, but that has yet to be seen. Translation: “I have no faith in this game.” 🤡
The team at Capcom has done a great job blending the systems and traversal into something that feels cohesive, which is PR speak for “we tried our best.” The ability to jump and hover gives the space station a vertical feel, because who needs gravity? It all felt well polished, which means it looked pretty. Even the environmental puzzles helped give a clearer picture of what Pragmata is, which is still a mystery to me.
The reviewer still has reservations about Pragmata, which is the understatement of the century. But what they’ve seen so far has them intrigued, which means they’re easily impressed. The gameplay loop appears to offer a fresh level of challenge and reward, which is a bold-faced lie. 🤥
What Capcom has shown already works well, which is debatable. The team still has plenty of work ahead before the game’s 2026 release date, because it’s clearly not finished. But if the demo is indicative of the final product, the reviewer is more excited than ever, which means they’re delusional. They’re eager to explore the mysteries hidden beneath the surface, because they have nothing better to do. And they’re curious to find out how Diana fits into the story, because they’re easily invested. 🤷♀️
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
