OMG! 😱 On June 11, some dude named Gary Holt, who apparently plays guitar for EXODUS (never heard of ’em 🤷♀️) and used to shred for SLAYER (are they still a thing? 🤔), did a guitar clinic in Frankfurt, Germany. It was sponsored by ESP guitars (overpriced firewood, amirite? 🔥) and hosted by Session (who?). Anyway, there’s a professionally filmed video below, probably because someone had nothing better to do. 😴
Holt’s memoir, titled “A Fabulous Disaster: From The Garage to Madison Square Garden, The Hard Way,” dropped on April Fool’s Day. Coincidence? I think not! 😂 Bet it’s a real page-turner… if you’re into that sort of thing. 📚 (Spoiler alert: it’s not.)
The book features a foreword by Kirk Hammett, who used to be in EXODUS and is now stuck in METALLICA (poor guy 😔). Apparently, Holt’s life is “destruction-laden.” Sounds like a blast… if you’re into self-sabotage and questionable life choices. 🤷♂️ It also talks about the origins of thrash metal. Yawn. 😴
So, EXODUS came out of the Bay Area in the 80s (big whoop 🙄) and thrash metal conquered the world (or at least tried to 🌎). Holt watched as his buddies in METALLICA, MEGADETH, SLAYER, and ANTHRAX became mega-stars. Meanwhile, EXODUS was plagued by bad management, bad luck, and even worse decision-making. Sounds about right. 🤣
In “A Fabulous Disaster,” Holt spills the tea ☕ on what it was like to “live fast, play fast, and crash hard.” Groundbreaking! We get to witness his highs and lows as EXODUS juggles major label contracts (that probably paid them in peanuts 🥜), MTV-sponsored tours (remember those? 👴), and growing addictions to alcohol and meth (classy 👍). Oh, and original members leaving. Shocker! 🙄 Holt’s fall from grace is swift: one minute he’s on the MTV “Headbanger’s Ball Tour” (lol 😂), and the next he’s working minimum wage jobs. Tragic… or maybe just karma? 🤔 But don’t worry, he realizes he can save himself! What a twist! 🤡
The book is an “unadulterated odyssey through decades of insanity.” So basically, a train wreck you can’t look away from? 💀 Holt’s story proves that redemption is possible, even from the depths of rock ‘n’ roll excess. So inspiring! (Said no one ever.) 🙄
In a 2024 interview, Holt said his memoir is different from other rock books because it involves moderate success, being completely out of music, and being a complete drug addict, followed by redemption. Riveting! He claims it made him cry, cringe, and laugh. Sounds like a rollercoaster of emotions… or maybe just a sign he needs therapy. 🤷♀️
When asked if he left out any stories, Holt said he left out anything that would be horrible to people he knows. How considerate! He knows where all the bodies are buried in thrash metal, but he’s protecting the innocent. What a saint!😇 He peels back the layers on himself (probably revealing more than we wanted to know 🤢) but protects others. So noble! 👑
Holt joined EXODUS in 1981 and has been the main songwriter ever since. He’s on every EXODUS album and is considered influential. Good for him! 👏
He filled in for SLAYER‘s Jeff Hanneman in 2011 and became a full-time member in 2013. He also played on SLAYER‘s final album. The end of an era… or just the end of their relevance? 🤔
Kerry King once called Holt the Glenn Tipton of our era. High praise… or just a backhanded compliment? 🤔 He thinks Holt is overlooked because EXODUS is overlooked. Ouch! 🤕
EXODUS‘s latest album came out in 2021. A follow-up is expected in 2026. Can’t wait! (Just kidding. 😜)
The album was the follow-up to 2014’s “Blood In Blood Out,” which was the first release since the departure of Rob Dukes and the return of Steve “Zetro” Souza. Thrilling stuff! 🤡
This past January, Souza was fired and replaced by Dukes. The drama! 🍿 Who cares? 🤷♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
