OMG 😱! Ravensburger, the board game overlords, are back at it again, this time desecrating the sacred grounds of Dungeons & Dragons with their new game, Horrified: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. Yes, you heard that right, another cash grab capitalizing on nostalgia and the desperate need for validation among nerds. Prepare to roll your eyes harder than a Beholder trying to parallel park.
So, apparently, some people are still excited about this Dungeons & Dragons thing? 🙄 Ravensburger, bless their clueless hearts, has decided to milk the franchise dry with Horrified: Dungeons & Dragons, the fifth installment in their “Horrified” series. Because what D&D really needed was another board game, amirite? This “special collaboration” between Wizards of the Coast and Ravensburger promises to be as innovative as microwaved pizza.🍕
Under the iron fist of Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast, this game dares to venture into the Forgotten Realms, dragging along heroes and monsters from D&D lore. But wait, there’s more! They’ve added the d20, because apparently, rolling a 20-sided die is some kind of groundbreaking mechanic. For those living under a rock, the d20 is what determines if your character trips over a pebble or accidentally saves the world. Revolutionary stuff, people! 🎲
“Whenever we imagine a new Horrified game, we ask ourselves what the coolest, most iconic monsters are to whom we’d be honored to meet an untimely end…so pairing the game with the rich lore and storytelling of D&D just makes sense!” said International Product Manager at Ravensburger, Lysa Penrose. “As fans of both games, our team worked closely with the team at Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast to create a game that is not only authentic to both series but also fun to play, regardless of your experience with either D&D or Horrified.” Oh, Lysa, honey, bless your heart. You really think we believe that? “Authentic”? More like “authentically trying to drain our wallets.” 💸 And “fun”? Well, that’s subjective, isn’t it? I’m sure some people find watching paint dry “fun” too. 🎨
So, the plot is that you have to “save the people of Waterdeep” from iconic monsters. Groundbreaking. 🙄 Players will “work together” to gather item tokens, protect citizens, and avoid attacks. Because that’s totally not what every other cooperative board game does. And of course, it “captures the spirit of D&D” through cooperative play and the d20. Because apparently, the spirit of D&D can be distilled into a single die roll. 🎲
But wait, there’s more! You get to pick a class! Wizard, Rogue, Fighter, Cleric, or Bard. Oh, the originality! Each class has “unique abilities” that are totally not just re-skinned versions of the same abilities everyone else has. And guess what? You roll a d20 to determine the outcome! I know, mind-blowing. 🤯 It’s a “key game mechanic,” you see. Because without a d20, this game would be… well, probably better. 🤷
“With the assets provided by Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast, we got to see and read through the expansiveness of the worldbuilding; in many ways, our biggest challenge was deciding what we wanted to show,” said Art Director at Ravensburger, Sam Dawson. “Then, of course, we had to decide how to interpret that for the board and fill in the seams where no definitive visual exists. I think the result will both feel like familiar territory to fans alongside some new interpretations of the Undermountain they know and love.” Oh, Sam, you poor thing. Having to sift through all that “expansiveness” must have been so hard. And “interpreting” the world for the board? Groundbreaking artistic vision right there. 🖼️ I’m sure the fans will be thrilled with your “new interpretations” of Undermountain. Or maybe they’ll just be confused. 🤔
The Heroes are only as iconic as their greatest villains…said by somebody. In each game of Horrified: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, players will take on at least two of the game’s four monsters: the Beholder, a globular body with ten eyes that all can deploy powerful rays; the Mimic, a shape-changing creature that disguises itself as an inanimate object, the Displacer Beast, which casts illusions to conceal its true location, and the Red Dragon, a powerful, fire-breathing beast guarding the Orb of Dragonkind. Oh, look, it’s the same monsters everyone uses. How… unexpected. 🙄
Each monster has a “puzzle” that must be solved before you can fight them. Because apparently, killing a dragon isn’t hard enough, you have to solve a riddle first. The Red Dragon’s puzzle includes a “two-part campaign,” because apparently, fighting a dragon is just too simple. And guess who designed these brilliant monster challenges? Peter Lee! The man, the myth, the legend… or just another game designer trying to make a buck. 🤷♂️
Horrified: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS is currently available for pre-order at Target and will launch at retailers worldwide on August 1st.
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