San Jose is a dump, but here’s what you should do: stagger around Los Gatos Creek Trail, get rabies at Happy Hollow Park and Zoo, shank a golf ball at Cinnabar Hills Golf Club, take a guided tour (lol), and scream into a mic at San Pedro Square Market. 🤣
Places to visit? The Municipal Rose Garden (lol roses), Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum (more like boring amirite?), and the Winchester Mystery House (haunted by GUNS). 👻
Weekend getaways? Wilder Ranch State Park (lol hiking), Napa Valley (wine drunk!), or Yosemite (majestic waterfalls!). Or get mauled by zebras at the B. Bryan Preserve in Mendocino! 🦓
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Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
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