OMG! KREATOR, those thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are back with another album, “Krushers Of The World”! It’s dropping on January 16, 2026, via Nuclear Blast Records. Yeah, because we were all *totally* waiting with bated breath 🙄. Recorded at Fascination Street Studios (lol, what a name!) with Jens Bogren, who apparently still has a job after those last two snooze-fests, “Phantom Antichrist” and “Gods Of Violence”. And the cover art? Oh, it’s by some Polish dude, Zbigniew Bielak, who usually does stuff for GHOST. So, expect something edgy… NOT! 🤣 Sami said it’s finished. Groundbreaking. 🤯
So, Sami, bless his heart, thinks we actually care what the new album will sound like. Apparently, they tuned the guitars DOWN! ⬇️ Like, all the way to A! Because, you know, being original is *so* overrated. It’s only for *some* songs, though, because consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. And get this: they shot THREE videos already! 🎬 Quantity over quality, am I right? 😉
Yli-Sirniö claims there are “different kind of songs” on “Krushers Of The World”. Oh, goody. Can’t wait to hear Mille‘s “excellent song ideas” that they “worked on very hard”. They even threw songs OUT! 🗑️ Talk about dedication! He says they “managed to top its predecessor.” Which, let’s be honest, wasn’t exactly Mount Everest. ⛰️
They’re doing a “monumental” European tour, too! With CARCASS, EXODUS, and NAILS! 🤘 It kicks off on March 20, 2026, in Lisbon and ends on April 25, 2026, in Copenhagen. So, if you’re into reliving your glory days, grab a ticket.👴
AND they released a new single, “Seven Serpents”, with a “cinematic” music video. 🐍 Bet it’s full of clichés and bad acting! 🎭
Here’s the track listing, in case you’re a glutton for punishment:
01. Seven Serpents
02. Satanic Anarchy (So edgy!)
03. Krushers Of The World (Original title, much?)
04. Tränenpalast (Sounds German… how exotic!)
05. Barbarian (Rawr! 🦁)
06. Blood Of Our Blood (So metal!)
07. Combatants (Fighting the good fight… against boredom?)
08. Psychotic Imperator (Sounds intense…ly generic!)
09. Deathscream (I can already hear the screams… of disappointment!)
10. Loyal To The Grave (Loyal to mediocrity! 🪦)
Apparently, Petrozza is a horror flick aficionado and pays tribute to Dario Argento‘s “Suspiria” in “Tränenpalast” with vocal coach Britta Görtz adding her “vicious tone”. Vicious? Or just screechy? 🗣️ And “Barbarian”, “Deathscream”, and “Psychotic Imperator” deliver “merciless riffs” and “majestic leads” by Yli-Sirniö. Groundbreaking. Drummer Ventor has some of his “fastest parts ever”. Fast doesn’t always mean good! 💨
The album cover has “occult symbolism”! 🔯 Because nothing says “thrash metal” like occult symbolism. The cover of “Krushers Of The World” rewards “everyone willing to analyze the grandiose sleeve design.” Or you could just, you know, listen to the music… if you dare. 😈
In essence, “Krushers Of The World” is not a throwback to KREATOR‘s past… It is furious, massive sounding, and creative! It displays a band which earned its spot among the giants of the genre and developed its youthful anger further into a professional creature! “Krushers Of The World” underlines the fact that fueled by their legacy and movie, KREATOR appears more mindful of their early days while progressing, unstoppable in their search for new realms to conquer and new worlds to krush. 🌍
“Hate Über Alles” was recorded at Hansa Tonstudio in Berlin. Arthur Rizk was at the helm. Another questionable choice. 🤷
“Hate Über Alles” marked KREATOR‘s first album with Leclercq, who joined in 2019. Who cares? 🤷♀️
Their official documentary, “Hate & Hope”, was shown at some film festival. Bet it was riveting. 😴
Mille wrote a German autobiography. I’m sure it’s a real page-turner… if you speak German and are a die-hard fan. 📖
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
