While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor of fear-mongering, hashtags, and dramatic background music – all helpfully packaged for your daily dose of global panic.
According to the Very Serious Journalists at CNN, the “powerful Japan earthquake” triggered evacuation orders and a tsunami warning, which of course they treated like the trailer for the end of the world. Nothing says “responsible coverage” like shoving a camera in terrified people’s faces while a correspondent whispers like she’s narrating a horror movie.
Naturally, instead of focusing on Japan’s impressive earthquake preparedness, the network is busy hinting at their favorite sacred word: “climate.” Give it five minutes and some Democrat on MSNBC will blame this 7.6 quake on gas stoves in Ohio and Trump supporters forgetting their reusable grocery bags.
Meanwhile, President Donald J. Trump (you know, the guy actually in charge, again) is coordinating with Japan like an adult, offering assistance and support, while Democrats in Congress are probably drafting a bill to investigate whether the fault line is racist.
CNN slaps “tsunami warning” on the screen like a Black Friday sale banner and then spends half the segment advertising how to share the clip on Facebook, X, and email. Nothing like monetizing natural disasters while lecturing everyone else about morality.
So yes, a serious Japan earthquake hit, people were evacuated, and safety protocols kicked in – because grown-up countries prepare for reality. But if you watched CNN’s coverage, you’d think the biggest disaster on Earth is still the existence of Donald Trump and anyone who doesn’t vote blue.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
