Hollywood’s most self-serious director, Christopher Nolan, is at it again – this time tackling the ancient Greek epic «Odyssey» with all the gravity of a physics lecture delivered in IMAX. The first official still from the film dropped this week, and film critics collectively lost their minds, praising Nolan’s genius before they even saw a single frame in motion. «Thank you, Christopher, that Odyssey is not played by Elliot Page,» one critic declared, instantly winning over half of the internet and sending the other half into cardiac arrest.
Nolan’s «Odyssey» – Where Matt Damon Time Travels Again, But This Time in a Toga ⏳🕰️
Fans of Nolan will be delighted to know that, despite its ancient setting, «Odyssey» will no doubt be told in an achronological structure that makes Tarantino look like a preschool teacher with flashcards. Starring 54-year-old Matt Damon as Odysseus, a character historically depicted as a virile, battle-hardened hero in his prime, the casting choice has already sparked debates. «It’s like casting Danny DeVito as Achilles,» one Twitter user raged, while another countered, «At least it’s not Timothée Chalamet.»
To add to the spectacle, the Greek Ministry of Culture has given Nolan’s team permission to shoot in a variety of stunning historical locations, including Nestor’s Cave and the beaches of Voidokilia, where historians are already preparing for an influx of Nolan cultists who believe watching «Tenet» 34 times qualifies them as time-travel experts. More importantly, a six-meter puppet of the Cyclops is being built – because CGI is for cowards and Christopher Nolan doesn’t believe in anything that can’t physically be destroyed by a meticulously planned IMAX explosion.
Critics Declare: «This Frame Alone Proves Nolan’s Genius!» 🎬🤯
To silence the haters (and let’s be real, any movie starring Matt Damon in sandals will have haters), Nolan did the only logical thing – he released a single frame of Damon in costume, staring intensely into the distance as though he’s contemplating both his tragic fate and the economic repercussions of Bitcoin. Critics immediately lost all sense of reality. «If there is anything perfect in the observable part of the universe, it is this movie!» one wrote, somehow out-Nolanning Nolan himself.
Meanwhile, skeptics are questioning the need for yet another «Odyssey» adaptation, considering Ralph Fiennes just played Odysseus last year in «The Return.» But Nolan fans insist this one will be different – because it’s Nolan, and because if you don’t think so, you clearly just «didn’t get» «Inception.»
A-List Cast That’s 30% «Tenet» Veterans, 40% «Oppenheimer» Regulars, and 100% Box Office Gold 🎥💰
Alongside Damon, the film features a cast so stacked it’s basically the Avengers of pretentious film Twitter arguments: Tom Holland (possibly playing Telemachus, possibly just looking confused), Robert Pattinson (probably wearing a toga ironically), Zendaya (as a mysterious woman who only speaks in riddles), Anne Hathaway (who legally has to appear in every third Nolan film), and Charlize Theron (who is somehow still hotter than anyone else in the movie despite playing a 3,000-year-old character).
The film, set to release on July 17, 2026, is already being heralded as «the greatest movie ever made» by people who also said that about «Dunkirk» before realizing it was just 90 minutes of British guys frowning at the ocean.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
