Alright, metalheads and casual listeners (we see you!), let’s talk about DISTURBED and their groundbreaking, earth-shattering, life-altering (yeah, right) “The Sickness 25th Anniversary Tour.” Apparently, a whopping 110,897 of you fine folks allowed yourselves to be tracked like lab rats through their Near-Field Communication (NFC) fan engagement strategy. Congratulations? 🙄
So, the problem is, apparently, bands are crying into their tiny, diamond-encrusted microphones because they don’t know who’s actually showing up to their gigs. Can you even IMAGINE the horror? 😱 They’re stuck relying on, GASP, *third-party* data. The audacity! How are they supposed to know which of you peasants are worthy of their glorious presence?
Enter IYK, the saviors of metal (allegedly), with their “Verified Fandom” platform. Because, you know, just *liking* DISTURBED on Facebook isn’t enough. You have to PROVE YOUR LOYALTY. Bow down and offer your data as tribute! Now, DISTURBED can finally identify, recognize, and reward their most… dedicated fans. With what, you ask? Instant access to exclusive content, seat upgrades (probably to slightly less terrible seats), and “special experiences.” We’re talking backstage passes to watch David Draiman floss his teeth, probably. 🪥
The methods are… ingenious. You can check in via a geo-gated QR code (because who *doesn’t* love scanning things?), tap your VIP badge (because nothing says “metal” like a laminated card), or, and this is the kicker, tap your newly purchased merch. That’s right, folks, now your overpriced DISTURBED t-shirt is a tracking device! Just tap your phone on the special NFC-powered label and BAM! Rewards unlocked! (Terms and conditions apply. May include a 10% off coupon for your next $200 purchase.) 💸
The results? “Speak volumes,” apparently. Like, REALLY LOUD VOLUMES. 37% of attendees interacted with a QR code or NFC tag. Wow. Groundbreaking. And 87% of *those* people were “net new contacts.” Translation: DISTURBED just added a bunch of emails to their spam list. But hey, they’re “rewarding loyal supporters” while simultaneously mining their personal data. It’s a win-win! (For DISTURBED, obviously.) 😈
For the bands and their “management teams,” this whole shebang provides a “holistic view of fan journey.” I didn’t even know my pathetic existence constituted a “journey”. They get “real-time fan data for tour optimization and long-term marketing.” Because nothing screams “authenticity” like optimizing your tour based on data analytics. They can also distribute rewards “instantly” (like the aforementioned coupon), and integrate with existing marketing tools. Because more spam is ALWAYS a good thing! 📧
So, by slapping QR codes and NFC chips on everything, DISTURBED can “say thanks” to their most loyal supporters while simultaneously expanding their “direct-to-fan ecosystem.” Which sounds a lot like a digital farm where you’re the livestock. But hey, at least you get to feel “recognized”! 🐑
Myles Grosovsky at Q Prime, which manages DISTURBED, says this campaign “didn’t just reward fandom — it made it measurable!” Because, you know, until now, fandom was just a vague, unquantifiable feeling. Now, it’s a number on a spreadsheet! So romantic! ❤️
According to Myles, they were “searching for a solution to see the band’s fans in a new way, connect with them, and thank them in real time.” Apparently, selling millions of albums and playing sold-out shows wasn’t enough of a connection. They needed to literally tag you like a wild animal. 🐻
Morgan Coates, head of music partnerships at IYK, chimes in, saying, “Fans want more ways to engage with their favorite artists.” Do they, though? Do they *really* want to be tracked and analyzed like lab rats? Or do they just want to listen to the music and maybe buy a t-shirt without feeling like they’re signing away their digital soul? 🤔
Coates continues, “We’re turning IRL moments into digital continuity, giving artists a complete view of their superfans so they can be recognized, rewarded and engaged not only at a show but afterwards as well.” So basically, they’re turning your real-life experiences into data points to be exploited for profit. But hey, at least you’re “recognized”! 🙄
The tour ended in Vegas (naturally), and now they’re off to Europe to spread the… uh… love? Data collection? Whatever. 🌍
Here’s a recap of the “impact”:
- 110,897 total fans identified (and probably regretting it)
- 87% are “net new” to the band’s CRM (get ready for the spam!)
- 37% interacted with a QR code or NFC tag (congratulations, you played yourself)
- 85,716 venue check-ins recorded (Big Brother is watching)
- 39,976 merchandise items claimed (and tracked)
Apparently, “fan data is extremely valuable” because “superfans generate an estimated 50-80% of an artist’s overall revenue.” So, yeah, you’re basically a walking ATM for DISTURBED. But hey, at least you get a coupon! 🤑
IYK is a “fan engagement platform” that helps artists “build deeper, more direct relationships with their fans.” By “deeper,” they mean “more invasive.” By “direct,” they mean “one-way.” 🤝
And finally, we get to the obligatory band bio, reminding us that DISTURBED has “quietly dominated hard rock” and sold millions of albums. Because, you know, that’s what really matters. It is not about the music, but the money and data! 💰
So, there you have it, folks. DISTURBED is tracking you, analyzing you, and rewarding you (with coupons). And you’re loving it! (Or at least pretending to.) Rock on! 🤘 (While being watched.)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
