Legendary rock band System of a Down has officially confirmed their long-awaited new album, but thereās a twist: 5 out of 12 tracks are purely the sound of Daron Malakianās mustache growing.
System of a Down Announces New Album ā And Half of It is Just Mustache Sounds!
Ā«Weāve always pushed boundaries, but this time we went further,Ā» Malakian explained. The band used nano-microphones to capture the delicate symphony of hair follicles in action. Drummer John Dolmayan claims that trained ears can even distinguish individual hairs sprouting.
System of a Down Recorded an Album ā But Half of It is Just Facial Hair Sounds!
The rest of the album? Equally bizarre ā featuring a punk ballad about dumplings, a metal anthem for exhausted office workers, and a song made entirely of Serjās dog barking.
The album, titled Ā«Moustache Symphony : Vol. 1Ā», will include the following tracks:
- Follicle Overture
- The Sound of Growing (Interlude)
- Bark ! Bark ! Bark ! (feat. Serjās Dog)
- Mustache Nation
- Office Despair Anthem
- Five More Hairs (Interlude)
- Panic at the Bakery
- A Song About Nothing But Itās Very Loud
- Twelve Minutes of Existential Screaming
- Symphony of Stubble (Interlude)
- Pelmeni Revolution
- The Final Hair (Outro)
Fans are already hyped, while critics predict this will either be a masterpiece or total madness. The release date remains unknown, but the band promises it will happen Ā«sometime in this millennium.Ā»
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chordās first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competitionāand won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
