Microsoft and Obsidian Entertainment have come up with a bold and innovative way to boost interest in their ambitious new RPG, Avowed. Instead of waiting for players to willingly buy the game, the tech giant has decided to take matters into its own hands – by preinstalling Avowed in every new Windows update! 🏆
🖥️ Microsoft Has Installed Avowed for You – Why Are You Still Resisting?
Now, after downloading the latest system update, Windows users will be greeted with a warm and friendly message:
“Dear Windows User!
To enhance your experience with our amazing operating system, your beloved company, Microsoft, has integrated our brand-new, mind-blowing game, Avowed directly into Windows.
To continue, press the Spacebar and proceed to the payment page.
Thank you for your cooperation! 😊💙”
This fantastic news has already sparked excitement among Windows users. Some have even decided to never update their systems again, just to avoid the risk of becoming the proud owner of Avowed against their will. But Microsoft anticipated this – future updates will automatically remove alternative operating systems, making sure there’s no easy escape.
💡 New Features in the Latest Windows Patch:
✅ “Avowed” is now a core part of Windows – because we know you’ll love it!
✅ Every 15 minutes, Windows reminds you of an exclusive 0.0001% discount on Avowed!
✅ Trying to open a browser? Get ready to land on the Avowed purchase page!
✅ The “Cancel” button has been replaced with “Pay Later, But Definitely Pay.”
Some users attempted to contact support, only to receive a 5% discount code for Avowed and a polite response:
“We appreciate your feedback, and that’s exactly why we’re giving you this wonderful opportunity!”
Industry experts predict that Microsoft’s next step will be to lock Windows activation behind a Game Pass subscription, and eventually, replace the desktop entirely with Avowed’s main menu.
Stay tuned for further updates! In the meantime… press “Space” to continue. 😈
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
