Recently, it was revealed that Amazon MGM Studios signed a historic deal with Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson, heirs of legendary film producer Albert Broccoli. As part of the agreement, the world’s second-largest corporation by revenue has taken full creative control of the James Bond franchise.
While fans of Agent 007 are hoping for new films, reality has turned out to be even more exciting: our insiders have already leaked the first details of the new Bond film under Amazon’s stewardship. 🤯
🤵 Bond. James Bond. Your Order Will Be Delivered Tomorrow 📦
According to sources, the new movie—tentatively titled “Prime Time to Die”—will see Agent 007 not only saving the world but also actively promoting Amazon products. Insiders report that in between gunfights, Bond will seamlessly recommend top items from Amazon’s catalog 🛍️ and highlight incredible deals on Prime Big Deal Days 2026. 💳
“Mr. Bond, we’re running out of time!” his new Bond girl will exclaim anxiously. 😱
“Then we’ll order drone delivery! 🚁” 007 replies, instantly summoning tactical gadgets from the Amazon Basics line.
👿 New Enemies and New Discounts 🏷️
Rumor has it that the main villain will be a nameless billionaire who dared to live without an Amazon Prime subscription. 😲 Writers are already working on a chase scene where Bond pursues the antagonist using the latest Amazon Exclusive Edition electric scooter. 🛴 In the film’s climax, the villain realizes the advantages of a Prime membership, signs up for an annual plan, and gets free shipping. 🚀
According to Amazon MGM Studios representatives, the company aims to make Bond “more relevant in today’s world of e-commerce and digital transformation.” Alexa integration is expected, and the famous “Bond. James Bond” catchphrase might be replaced with “Alexa, who is James Bond?” 🤖 followed by a 20-minute explanation.
🎬 When Is the Premiere? 🍿
Since “No Time to Die” was released four years ago, this hiatus may become the longest break in the franchise’s history. However, with Amazon in charge, things are expected to move faster. ⚡ Rumors suggest that if the movie faces delays, viewers may gain “early access” to the script via Kindle Unlimited 📖 or watch an alternative cut on Amazon Prime Video (with ads, of course). 🎥
As they say, “license to kill” has now become “license to subscribe.” The only question remains: will Bond still drive an Aston Martin, or will it be replaced by an autonomous Amazon delivery van? 🚐📦
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
