Locals In Galilee Rejoice As Jesus Turns Seed Oil Into Beef Tallow
CANA — Large crowds gathered at a local burger joint following news that a man purported to be the Messiah…
Day: March 10, 2025
🎩 Playing by Microsoft’s Rules: Forza Horizon 5 on PS5 with a Twist!
🎮 Attention, gamers! A sensation has hit the gaming world: to play Forza Horizon 5 on PS5, you’ll need… drumroll,…
Nation Uses Extra Hour Of Daylight To Sun Perineums Even Harder
Read MoreThe OnionCLEVELAND—Excitedly heading out to yards, balconies, and public parks across the country to reap the wellness benefits, the…
Tucker Interviews Saruman To Talk About Rohan’s Warmongering
ISENGARD — In his latest effort to challenge mainstream narratives by sitting down with controversial world leaders, Tucker Carlson traveled…
Man Who Thought He Grew Up Poor Suddenly Realizes His Dad Was Just A Cheapskate
NICEVILLE, FL — A local man was confronted with an uncomfortable reality today, as after spending his entire life thinking…
DHS Begins National Registry Of Duolingo Users
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Warning that the highly suspicious individuals constituted a threat to the country’s safety and cultural unity, the U.S.…