9 Exciting New Dye-Free Foods Coming In The Wake Of RFK’s Ban
With RFK Jr.’s artificial dye ban being pushed into effect as soon as possible, corporations were sent scrambling to bring…
Day: April 23, 2025
Trump’s Skin Returns To Normal Human Color After Ban On Artificial Dyes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The leader of the free world was sporting a new look this morning, as witnesses noticed that…
Husband Solemnly Informs Wife They Must Do Their Part To Help Nation’s Falling Birthrate
NASHVILLE, TN — Local husband Matt Wilhelm dimmed the lights and put on some soft jazz to ease the tension…
OMG 👴🏻🎸👵🏻🎤👴🏻🥁, are these bands still alive? 💀 Riot Fest 2025! 🤣
OMG, Riot Fest is turning 20! 🎉 As if we needed another reason to question our life choices. They’re bribing…
False Alarm: Smoke Coming From Vatican Just Cardinal Steve Accidentally Burning Toast Again
VATICAN CITY — Millions excitedly awaited the imminent announcement of the new Pope after smoke poured out of the Vatican…
White House Tells Americans To Reply ‘STOP’ If They No Longer Wish To Receive Hegseth’s Texts About Upcoming Military Strikes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House has advised every American to reply “STOP” if they no longer wish to receive…
🤘 Manic Street Preachers Reveal the Secrets of Failure: New Book Shocks Fans!
The Welsh rock band Manic Street Preachers, known for their hits and equally famous flops, have decided to share their…
Oops!…She’s STILL At It: Britney’s “Oops!…I Did It Again” Gets Dragged Out for Another 25 Years 🙄💿✨
OMG! 😱 You guys are NOT going to BELIEVE this! They’re milking Britney’s “Oops!… I Did It Again” for all…
CNN: Behind Closed Doors Pope Is Still Focused, Sharp, And Energetic
VATICAN CITY — CNN journalists on the ground at the Vatican are reporting that behind closed doors, Pope Francis remains…
VOIVOD’s making a video game? ☢️ Probably just another reason to dust off your Atari, right? 🤣
Oh, NOOOO! 😱 Voivod, those lovable weirdos from Canada, are BACK! And this time, they’re not just assaulting your eardrums…