Jasmine Crockett Floats Down Mighty Mississippi To Purchase Fresh Shipment Of Mexican Slaves
NATCHEZ, MS — Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett was seen smoking a corncob pipe and playing a diddy on her banjo as…
Month: April 2025
Winnie The Pooh Destitute As Trump Enacts 150% Tariffs On Hundred Acre Wood
HUNDRED ACRE WOOD — Local bear Winnie the Pooh has reportedly been left completely destitute after Trump enacted 150% tariffs…
Op-Ed: How About Genetic Scientists Try Making Young Men Who Aren’t Little Sissy Boys
Down at the VFW today, the boys were saying that some boneheads used a bunch of test tubes to make…
Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100
Read MoreThe OnionA pair of critically endangered, nearly 100-year-old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo have become first-time parents, with…
Trump Bangs Gong Signaling Another Increase In China Tariffs
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The global trade war reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump banged a giant…
Is It OK To Date A Girl Who’s Not A Christian As Long As She’s Super Hot?
I know there are Bible verses that say it’s bad to be “unequally yoked” with a non-believer — but what…
White House Revokes Biden’s Veneers
Read MoreThe OnionThe post White House Revokes Biden’s Veneers appeared first on The Onion. Finn McFrameFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…
🚨 Scandal! Razer and Others: Is Slavery the Solution to Tariff Problems?
In an era where technology is rapidly advancing and manufacturing processes are becoming increasingly automated, American laptop manufacturers, including the…
Trump Announces HUGE Blowout Sale On Stocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the gloomy outlook reported in the media by countless economists and market experts, President Donald Trump…
Here Are The Products Most Affected By Tariffs In Each Country
Trump has imposed tariffs on nearly every country on earth, leading to economic uncertainty and market panic. To ease the…