HOLY GUACAMOLE! 🥑 Fan-filmed video surfaces of FOREIGNER’s May 7th concert in Chile, and let’s just say it’s a masterclass in… well, something. It’s definitely a concert. A concert featuring music. And people. Possibly even instruments. Prepare for a sonic experience that will either make you question your life choices or inspire you to start a tribute band called “Sort Of Foreigner-ish.”
So, the band that’s only technically FOREIGNER (because let’s be real, how many original members are even left? One? Maybe a hologram?) decided to grace Chile with their presence. But wait, there’s a twist! Lead vocals were mostly handled by guitarist Luis Maldonado. Yes, you read that right. The GUITARIST. Singing. Most of the songs. 🎸🎤 I’m sure he’s a lovely guitarist, but is he Lou Gramm? Absolutely not. It’s like ordering a steak and getting a veggie burger – technically food, but not quite the same, is it? 🍔➡️🥩
And then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of musical mediocrity (or maybe just wheeled out on a geriatric scooter), original vocalist Lou Gramm shows up for the last four songs! 🎉👵🏻 It’s like they knew the crowd was about to riot and needed to throw them a bone. Or, in this case, four slightly-out-of-tune bones. Bless his heart, he’s trying. He’s really trying. But Father Time is undefeated, folks. ⏳
Here’s the setlist, meticulously documented for your viewing (dis)pleasure:
- 00:00 Preshow (because who doesn’t love elevator music before a rock concert?) 🎶
- 01:50 Intro (get ready for the magic… or something) ✨
- 03:09 Double Vision (I think I’m seeing double because this isn’t the FOREIGNER I remember) 😵💫
- 06:47 Head Games (more like “Headaches,” am I right?) 🤕
- 12:30 Cold As Ice (fitting, considering the reception this might get) 🥶
- 17:55 Waiting For A Girl Like You (or maybe just waiting for this song to end) 😴
- 24:00 That Was Yesterday (and thank goodness for that) 🙏
- 28:37 Dirty White Boy (still relevant? Debatable) 🤔
- 33:25 Feels Like The First Time (yeah, the first time I’ve been this disappointed) 😭
- 38:50 Urgent (I urgently need a bathroom break) 🚽
- 47:00 Keyboard Solo (Michael Bluestein) (because everyone loves a good keyboard solo… said no one ever) 🎹
- 52:00 Drum Solo (Chris Frazier) (more like a drum *drone*, am I right?) 🥁
- 56:00 Juke Box Hero (with Lou Gramm) (the only reason anyone’s still watching) 🦸♂️
- 1:08:17 Long, Long Way From Home (felt like it took even longer to get to this point) 🏠
- 1:11:30 I Want To Know What Love Is (with Lou Gramm) (first verses in Spanish because… reasons?) ❤️🇪🇸
- 1:19:00 Hot Blooded (with Lou Gramm) (still got it? Jury’s still out) 🔥
- 1:27:13 Post-show final (thank heavens) 😇
Apparently, this was part of FOREIGNER’s “Spring 2025” Latin American tour. Spring 2025? Did I miss a memo? Are we all time travelers now? 🕰️
And where was Kelly Hansen, the guy who’s been fronting this… *thing* for the past two decades? Oh, he had “residency issues.” Right. Because belting out power ballads is totally comparable to being a brain surgeon or something. He claims Luis Maldonado will be “smashing it” while filling in. I’m pretty sure the only thing getting smashed is the legacy of the original band. 🔨💥
He’s also skipping the Canadian tour because… reasons involving a musical? A “Juke Box Hero” musical? Seriously? Is nothing sacred anymore? 🎭🇨🇦 Geordie Brown, some dude from Canada who was in the musical, will be singing a few songs too. Because why not add another layer of confusion to this already baffling situation? 🤷♂️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
