OMG, you guys, they’re STILL milking this Pokemon TCG Pocket thing? 🙄 Like, haven’t they heard of, I don’t know, a REAL card game? Or maybe just going outside? But nooooo, let’s all stare at our tiny screens and swipe to victory (or more likely, to emptying our wallets).
So, apparently, after the earth-shattering “Shining Revelry” (I’m still trying to figure out what was so revelrous about it 🤔) and the nail-biting second season of Ranked Matches (did anyone even notice?), Pokemon TCG Pocket is blessing us with MORE content. Get ready for “Extradimensional Crisis,” launching May 29th. Yes, another excuse to spend your hard-earned cash on digital cardboard.💰💰💰
They even made a trailer. A TRAILER! For a mobile card game! I bet they spent, like, at least five minutes making it. You can watch it below if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m not judging… much.
Okay, so this “Extradimensional Crisis” thing is all about bringing back the Ultra Beasts from Sun and Moon. Because apparently, we didn’t get enough of them the first time around. This is the first time they’ve revisited a region, which is either a sign of them running out of ideas 💡 or a testament to the sheer amount of cash Sun and Moon raked in. Probably both.
And what are Ultra Beasts, you ask? Well, according to the lore (which I totally didn’t have to Google), they’re creatures from another dimension. They emerge from “Ultra Wormholes” and live in “Ultra Space.” Sounds like a rejected sci-fi movie plot, but hey, at least it gives them an excuse to make some weird-looking Pokemon.👽👾
The trailer teases a bunch of these Ultra Beasts, like Buzzwole ex (because everything needs an “ex” version these days), Blacephalon (try saying that five times fast), Nihilego (sounds like a bad guy from a Saturday morning cartoon), and Guzzlord ex (because who doesn’t love a Pokemon that’s basically a walking black hole?). Apparently, only Poipole and Naganadel are missing from the lineup. Maybe they’re saving them for the “Extradimensional Crisis 2: Electric Boogaloo” expansion. ⚡
But wait, there’s more! To celebrate this momentous occasion, they’re also having a “solo battle event” featuring Ultra Necrozma ex (because apparently, regular Necrozma wasn’t edgy enough). That starts on June 3rd and runs until June 11th. Then, get ready for a “Wonder Pick event” on June 11th, featuring Extradimensional Crisis cards. And finally, on June 22nd, there will be an “Ultra Beast Mass Outbreak.” I’m not sure what that entails, but it sounds like a good time to hide indoors. 🏠
So, there you have it. More Pokemon TCG Pocket content to consume. Go forth and swipe, my friends. Just don’t blame me when your bank account cries. 😭
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
