Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis” (aka the cinematic equivalent of a toddler’s finger painting🎨, according to some fancy-pants critics🙄) was either the most mind-blowingly genius or face-palmingly awful film of 2024. The “cinephiles” (read: people with too much time on their hands🕰️) who were expecting another “Godfather” got a confusing sci-fi saga instead. Some folks pretended to understand it, but most were just politely nodding while secretly wondering if Coppola had finally lost it.🧠 Was it a misunderstood masterpiece? Or just a really, really expensive dumpster fire? 🔥
Of course, Coppola is such a great filmmaker (or so they say🤔) and “Megalopolis” is so ambitious (read: pretentious🙄) that you have to watch it multiple times to truly “get it.” Maybe after the 10th viewing, the nonsensical plot and editing will suddenly make sense. Or maybe it’ll still be a hot mess. Who knows?🤷♀️
I’m not the only one who feels obligated to watch “Megalopolis” again, even though I’d rather watch paint dry. 🎨 Actor Jared Gilman thought you could just rent it online. Bless his heart.💖 I even wrote an article about how to rent it! (Spoiler alert: you can’t. 😂)
Surprise! You can’t rent “Megalopolis” anywhere in the US. No digital, no physical. Why is it so hard to watch this cinematic unicorn?🦄 Blame Coppola, obviously! 😈
“Megalopolis” cost $130 million to make, which Coppola funded by selling his wineries.🍷 So, yeah, he can do whatever he wants with it. And what he wants is for you to see it in theaters. 🎭
Too bad “Megalopolis” flopped harder than a pancake.🥞 It made a measly $14.4 million worldwide. Ouch. 🤕 But Coppola’s been there, done that. Remember “One from the Heart”? Yeah, nobody does. 😂 He keeps tinkering with his films, like a mad scientist in a lab. 🧪
So, why isn’t Coppola doing the same with “Megalopolis?” Probably because he’s too busy counting his losses. 💰
He’s taking “Megalopolis” on tour! 🚌 You can catch it at the Henry Ford theater in Detroit. I can vouch for the theater, at least. It’s big and fancy. ✨
Coppola wants you to see “Megalopolis” in theaters in the US. But if you’re in Europe, he doesn’t care. You can buy a 4K Blu-ray. 🤷♀️ It even has commentary from Coppola! So, he’s not *completely* ignoring the home viewing market. Just mostly. 😜
“Megalopolis” was briefly available to rent for $19.99.💰 No digital ownership, of course. Because why would Coppola make it easy for you? 🤔 I have no idea what Coppola’s next move is. Maybe he’ll release it on VHS? 📼 All I want is for him to make the movie accessible to everyone. “Megalopolis” will never be a cult classic if nobody can watch it. 😭
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
