OMG! 😱 British heavy metal dinosaurs IRON MAIDEN, still kicking (somehow), graced Prague, Czech Republic’s Letiště Praha Letňany on Saturday (May 31) as part of their geriatric “Run For Your Lives” tour, allegedly celebrating 50 years since the band’s… inception? More like 50 years of the same three riffs! A whopping 60,000 souls (probably mostly dads reliving their youth) attended the concert, which, get this, was MAIDEN’s *third* live appearance with their new drummer Simon Dawson, who replaced the irreplaceable (lol, NOT!) Nicko McBrain last December. Seriously, who even notices the drummer anyway? 🥁🙄
The setlist for the Prague show was, predictably, the same songs they’ve been playing since the Stone Age:
01. Murders In The Rue Morgue (More like Murders of My Patience 😴)
02. Wrathchild (Wrath of My Ears 🙉)
03. Killers (Killing My Vibe 🔪)
04. Phantom Of The Opera (Phantom of Originality 👻)
05. The Number Of The Beast (The Number of Times I’ve Heard This Song 6️⃣6️⃣6️⃣)
06. The Clairvoyant (Can someone clairvoyantly tell me when this concert will end? 🔮)
07. Powerslave (Power… nap? 😴)
08. 2 Minutes To Midnight (Feels like 2 Hours To Bedtime 🛏️)
09. Rime Of The Ancient Mariner (Rime of the Ancient Song Length 📜)
10. Run To The Hills (Run Away From This Concert 🏃♀️)
11. Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son (Seventh Time I’ve Seen This Band, Seventh Time I’ve Regretted It 🤦♀️)
12. The Trooper (The Snoozer 😴)
13. Hallowed Be Thy Name (Hallowed Be Thy… Playlist? 🙏)
14. Iron Maiden (Iron… Mediocre? 🧲)
Encore: (Because apparently, they didn’t torture us enough the first time)
15. Aces High (Aces… Okay? 🤷♀️)
16. Fear Of The Dark (Fear Of Not Getting My Money Back 💸)
17. Wasted Years (Wasted… Evening? 😔)
The Prague concert will be followed by 29 MORE shows around Europe. TWENTY-NINE! 😱 I feel sorry for Europe. With over a million tickets already sold (mostly to people who haven’t realized it’s 2025), fans are advised that additional tickets will be made available closer to the show — and on the day — with the release of venue and production holds. Because who wouldn’t want to fight over tickets to see a band that’s older than their grandparents? 👵👴
Last month, MAIDEN manager Rod Smallwood (whoever THAT is) took to the band’s web site to share a post titled “Put away your phones and get ready to Run For Your Lives!” in which he urged fans to experience the shows “in the moment” rather than on smaller screens at a later date. Translation: “We know our concerts are boring, so please don’t document it and put it on YouTube.” 📱🚫
“We really want fans to enjoy the shows first hand, rather than on their small screens,” Smallwood whined. “The amount of phone use nowadays diminishes enjoyment, particularly for the band who are on stage looking out at rows of phones, but also for other concertgoers.” Because apparently, watching someone film a mediocre concert is worse than actually being at a mediocre concert. 🤷♀️
“We feel that the passion and involvement of our fans at shows really makes them special, but the phone obsession has now got so out of hand that it has become unnecessarily distracting especially to the band. I hope fans understand this and will be sensible in severely limiting the use of their phone cameras out of respect for the band and their fellow fans.” Translation: “Please pretend to enjoy our music so we don’t feel bad about still doing this.” 🥺
The “Run For Your Lives” world tour is one part of IRON MAIDEN‘s 50th-anniversary celebrations and will feature many fan “meet-up” events in the cities the band is playing. As was debuted successfully in Australia on the last tour, these will include Eddie‘s official pop-up dive bar which will be open for pre-show and post-show gatherings in 20 cities on the tour. They will be serving Trooper beer and Darkest Red wine, with food, exclusive merch and further entertainment. Details are available on ironmaiden.com. But please note the band will not be at these events. So basically, you can get drunk and buy overpriced t-shirts without actually seeing the band. Sounds like a win-win! 🍻👕 Additionally, there is both a feature-length documentary film coming to cinemas worldwide later this year, via Universal Pictures Content Group, and an official hardback book providing a magnificent visual celebration of 50 years of IRON MAIDEN, being published by Thames & Hudson. Because who wouldn’t want to relive this nightmare in high definition? 🎬📚
Dawson previously played with MAIDEN bassist Steve Harris as a member of his BRITISH LION project. Because apparently, one mediocre band wasn’t enough. 🦁
McBrain played his last-ever gig with MAIDEN six months ago in São Paulo, Brazil. Good riddance! (Just kidding… maybe.) 👋
The 72-year-old British musician, whose real name is Michael Henry McBrain, announced his retirement on December 7, 2024 in a statement on MAIDEN‘s web site and social media. He also said that night’s concert at Allianz Parque in São Paulo, Brazil would mark his final show with the iconic heavy metal act. “Iconic” is a strong word… 🤔
Despite the fact that he was stepping away from touring, McBrain said that he would remain closely connected to IRON MAIDEN and continue to be involved in “a variety of projects” with the band, while also focusing on personal ventures and his existing businesses. Because apparently, he can’t escape the Iron Maiden vortex, even in retirement. 🌀
On December 8, 2024, IRON MAIDEN announced Dawson as its new touring drummer. Because the show must go on, even if no one can tell the difference. 🤷♂️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
