Rent Taylor Swift’s Swanky NYC Crib – Hope You Can Afford More Than Just ‘Teardrops on My Guitar’

Rent Taylor Swift's Swanky NYC Crib - Hope You Can Afford More Than Just 'Teardrops on My Guitar'

OMG! ๐Ÿคฉ Wanna throw away $50,000 a month to rent a place where Taylor Swift *used* to breathe? ๐Ÿก This is not just any overpriced Manhattan real estate, people! This is where *Cornelia Street* happened. ๐Ÿคฏ Like, the actual street. And she, like, casually mentioned renting a place there in a car. ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’จ Groundbreaking.

So, apparently, Taylor Swift’s former West Village palace ๐Ÿ‘‘ (because a regular house is *so* beneath her) is up for rent. For a mere $50,000 a month, you too can experience the โœจmagicโœจ of living where a pop star once penned lyrics about heartbreak and… street names? ๐Ÿค” I mean, come on, who *hasn’t* written a song about a street they used to walk down? ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ Just me? Okay. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

This four-bedroom, seven-bathroom (SEVEN?! What are you doing in there?! ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿ’ฉ), 5,500-square-foot townhouse is described as “romantic, moody, modern, and magical.” โœจ Translation: it’s probably dark, expensive, has some weird art, and the plumbing is probably questionable. ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ But hey, at least you can tell all your friends that you’re living in a “piece of folklore.” ๐Ÿ“š Because nothing says “folklore” like overpriced real estate in Manhattan. ๐Ÿ™„

The listing agents, Laurence Carty, Irene Lo, and Jennifer Rahilly of Corcoran Group, are probably laughing all the way to the bank. ๐Ÿฆ I mean, who wouldn’t want to capitalize on the desperate dreams of Swifties who want to feel *closer* to their idol? ๐Ÿ™ It’s genius, really. Evil genius, but genius nonetheless. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

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And get this, it has a private, indoor pool! ๐ŸŠโ€โ™€๏ธ Because nothing says “relatable” like swimming in your own private pool while the rest of us are crammed into public pools with screaming kids and questionable floaties. ๐Ÿฆ„ But hey, at least you can pretend you’re Taylor Swift filming a music video. ๐ŸŽฌ

The New York City Dreamscapes IG account says you can “almost imagine her walking those creaky steps, writing by candlelight, and staring out at the street that would end up in a song.” ๐Ÿ•ฏ๏ธ Yeah, or you could imagine her ordering Seamless, binge-watching Netflix, and complaining about the paparazzi. ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ“บ๐Ÿ“ธ You know, normal people stuff. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

But no, this isn’t just a rental, it’s a “piece of folklore in real life.” ๐Ÿ™„ And yes, you would *never* walk Cornelia Street again. Because, let’s be real, who can afford to live there *and* still have money for walking? ๐Ÿ’ธ You’ll be taking the subway like the rest of us peasants. ๐Ÿš‡

Let’s dissect those oh-so-profound “Cornelia Street” lyrics, shall we?

“We were in the backseat
Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar
‘I rent a place on Cornelia Street’
I say casually in the car”

Ah yes, the casual mention of renting a place on Cornelia Street. ๐Ÿ˜Œ Because that’s totally something normal people do when they’re drunk. ๐Ÿคช “Oh, hey, by the way, I just signed a lease for a $50,000-a-month townhouse. No big deal.” ๐Ÿ’…

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I’d never walk Cornelia Street again
That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I’d never walk Cornelia Street again”

Okay, calm down, Shakespeare. ๐ŸŽญ It’s just a street. ๐Ÿ›ฃ๏ธ There are, like, a million other streets in New York City. ๐ŸŽ Get over it. ๐Ÿ™„

“And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
And baby, I’m so terrified of if you ever walk away
I’d never walk Cornelia Street again
I’d never walk Cornelia Street again”

Mystified? ๐Ÿคจ Terrified? ๐Ÿ˜จ It’s a CITY, not a haunted house. ๐Ÿ‘ป And if someone walking away from you means

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Chuck B. Ballsy

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as โ€œThe Sultan of Snark,โ€ is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.

Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.

Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, heโ€™s always the MVP. ๐Ÿ€๐ŸŽค

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