OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what happened at the Xbox Games Showcase 2025! 🤯 They dropped a nuke of a reveal: Call of Duty: Black Ops 7!!! Like, who even asked for this? But hey, more of the same, amirite? 🤷♀️
So, apparently, after weeks of totally credible “rumblings” (aka some dude on Twitter guessing), they FINALLY announced Black Ops 7 at SGF 2025. The year is 2035, and surprise, surprise, the world is a dumpster fire 🔥. Just like EVERY. SINGLE. OTHER. Call of Duty game. It’s like they have a “World in Chaos” generator that they crank up every year. 🙄 And it’s all connected to Black Ops 2 and Black Ops 6! Continuity? In MY Call of Duty? Unheard of! 🤣
Get ready to play as some generic Black Ops 7 operatives under the totally inspiring command of David Mason. They’ll be using “new technology,” which probably means slightly shinier guns and maybe a drone that can deliver pizza. 🍕 The squad has to fight some bad guys who apparently think fear is the ultimate weapon. Because, you know, shooting people isn’t scary enough. 👻
Treyarch and Raven Software are back at it again, churning out another Black Ops title faster than you can say “microtransactions.” This is the FIRST TIME EVER that they’ve released Black Ops games back-to-back! 🤯 (Except for all the other times they’ve done it, but who’s counting?). They’re following in the footsteps of Modern Warfare 2 and Modern Warfare 3, which were totally not rushed and unfinished, nope, not at all. 😇 And just like those masterpieces, Black Ops 7 will continue the totally coherent storyline from Black Ops 2 and 6. Even though Black Ops 6 just came out like, yesterday, Xbox swears this is a “full release.” Yeah, right. 🤔 It’s got a “cooperative campaign,” which means you and your buddy can argue about who gets to be David Mason, “new maps,” which will probably be recycled from old games, and “more zombies,” because apparently, shooting regular people isn’t mindless enough. 🧟
So, all we have is a teaser trailer that tells us absolutely nothing. But don’t worry! More info about Call of Duty: Black Ops 7 will be coming “soon.” Which means they’ll start drip-feeding us information to keep us hooked until the inevitable pre-order announcement. 🎣 And if you want more coverage of SGF 2025 (why?), head over to the CGMagazine page! They’ll tell you everything you already know, but with more words! 🎉
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
