In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering, paradigm-shifting interview with Justin Richmond of the Broken Record podcast, the one, the only, the Starchild himself, Paul Stanley, deigned to bestow upon us his top five KISS albums. 🙄 Prepare to be enlightened (or maybe just mildly amused, let’s be real).
First up, because obviously, it’s ‘Kiss Alive!’ Because, you know, it “captured the essence of the live experience.” 🙄 As if anyone actually believed that wasn’t heavily doctored in the studio. “Enhancing it and surrounding you with people…” he says. Translation: we cranked up the crowd noise and fixed all the bum notes. “Snobs or purists” might have a problem with that, but hey, who cares about authenticity when you can sell millions of albums? It’s “one of the greatest” live albums ever, not because it was actually live, but because it captured the “live experience.” 🤪 Whatever that means. Probably lots of hairspray and platform boots.
Next, we have “Destroyer”. Groundbreaking choice, Paul! Who would have thought? 🙄 Apparently, working with Bob Ezrin was a “education” and a “schooling.” We all know he whipped them into shape. All those songs about “sleeping with this one or this group of your parties” were temporarily put aside. Temporarily. Let’s not pretend they suddenly became deep thinkers. But hey, at least they got some classics out of it. “Detroit Rock City,” “God Of Thunder,” “Beth,” “Shout It Out Loud.” All staples of the show, right up until the very end. Or, you know, until they replaced themselves with robots. 🤖
And now, the curveball! “Sonic Boom” makes the list! Yes, the album featuring Tommy Thayer, aka Bootleg Ace Frehley. 🤣 Paul says it’s a “great album by a band that recognized its roots.” Right, because nothing says “roots” like replacing original members with carbon copies. The “team spirit” was “really, really palpable.” Probably because everyone was just happy to still be getting paid. 💰 If “Modern Day Delilah” had been on “Rock And Roll Over,” it would be a classic, he claims. Sure, Paul. And if my aunt had wheels, she’d be a bicycle. “It’s a different time now, and people don’t connect to songs as time pieces.” No, Paul, it’s because the songs aren’t as good. But hey, keep telling yourself whatever you need to.
Back to the classics! “Rock And Roll Over” gets a nod. Paul likes it because it “doesn’t sound anywhere near what we sounded like.” That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, is it? It was “very elusive” for them, apparently. Maybe because they were too busy looking in the mirror? 🤔 But hey, at least they did something with “real focus and clarity.” Whatever that means in KISS-land.
Last but not least, we have “Kiss Unplugged.” Oh, the humanity! 😭 Paul “just listened to some of that couple of days ago.” Must have been a slow day. “The band at that point was just on fire.” Or maybe just relieved to be sitting down for once. “No effects, no amplifiers, no running around — us with guitars and drums and singing our asses off.” Translation: we actually had to play our instruments for real. “It gave a chance to showcase the songs.” Because a good song can be played on one guitar, apparently. Who knew? “Sure Know Something” and “I Still Love You” get a shoutout. Because they’re just that good, dontcha know? It’s “undeniable!” Just like Paul’s ego. 🙄
So there you have it, folks. Paul Stanley’s top five KISS albums. A journey through the highs, the lows, and the heavily doctored. Just remember, it’s all about the “experience.” Even if that experience is mostly smoke and mirrors. 💨
KISS played its two final shows ever in December 2023 at New York City’s Madison Square Garden. Yeah, right. “Final.” We’ll see about that. 😉
The last show, held on December 2, 2023, streamed live on pay-per-view. Because who wouldn’t want to pay to watch a bunch of robots pretend to be KISS? 🤖
KISS launched its farewell trek in January 2019 but was forced to put it on hold in 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Farewell…for now!
“End Of The Road” was originally scheduled to conclude on July 17, 2021 in New York City. The trek was announced in September 2018 following a KISS performance of the band’s classic song “Detroit Rock City” on “America’s Got Talent.” Because nothing says “rock and roll” like a talent show. 🎤
Early last year, KISS sold its entire music catalog, likeness and brand name to Swedish company Pophouse Entertainment, which is behind “ABBA Voyage.” A biopic, an avatar show, and a KISS-themed experience are already in the works, with Stanley and Gene Simmons playing key roles in the development of all these projects, working closely with Pophouse. Because what’s more rock and roll than selling out to the highest bidder? 🤑
Using cutting-edge technology, Pophouse Entertainment Group, which was founded by ABBA’s Björn Ulvaeus, will create digital versions of KISS. The project was previewed at the final KISS show. So get ready for Avatar KISS. The future is here, and it’s terrifying. 👽
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
