So, James Gunn, the overlord of DC Studios (along with his trusty sidekick Peter Safran), has deigned to bless us with a ‘Wonder Woman’ movie. Yes, because what the world REALLY needs is ANOTHER superhero flick. 🙄 I mean, who even asked for this? But hey, at least it’s “being written right now,” which could mean anything from a fully fleshed-out script to a couple of scribbled notes on a napkin. 🤷♀️
And just when you thought the cinematic universe couldn’t get any more convoluted, Gunn is bringing back Superman, this time played by David Corenswet. Because, you know, Henry Cavill was just TOO iconic. 🙄 But don’t worry, this Superman will be totally different… probably. Maybe he’ll wear his underwear on the outside THIS time. 🤡
As part of his “wide-ranging interview” (aka, a carefully orchestrated PR stunt) with Entertainment Weekly, Gunn casually dropped the bomb that Wonder Woman is getting a movie. Because Gal Gadot’s portrayal was just SO forgettable, we need a fresh start. 🙄
Speaking of Gal Gadot, remember when she was Wonder Woman? Yeah, those were… times. ‘Wonder Woman’ (2017) was okay, I guess, if you’re into that whole “female empowerment” thing. ‘Wonder Woman 1984’? Oh honey, don’t even get me STARTED on that hot mess. 🤦♀️ And her cameo in ‘The Flash’? Blink, and you’ll miss it—probably for the best.
But hey, Gunn and Safran have a plan! They’re gonna reboot EVERYTHING! Because that’s always a recipe for success. 👍 Remember when they announced ‘Paradise Lost,’ the ‘Game of Thrones’ with Amazons? Yeah, that’s still a thing, apparently. Set BEFORE Diana is even born, because who needs Wonder Woman in a Wonder Woman show? 🤪
Gunn’s quote about ‘Paradise Lost’ is truly inspiring: “What are their politics like? What are their rules? Who’s in charge?” Riveting stuff. I’m sure audiences will be clamoring to learn about the inner workings of Amazonian society. 😴
And of course, when Wonder Woman finally DOES grace the big screen again, it’ll be with a brand new actress. Because why stick with someone who’s already established in the role? Makes perfect sense. NOT! 🙅♀️
But wait, there’s MORE! We’re also getting ‘Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow,’ ‘Clayface’ (a HORROR film, because why not?), and ‘Dynamic Duo,’ an animated feature about Batman’s Robins. Because everyone knows that what the DC universe REALLY needs is more Batman spin-offs. 🦇
As for when this Wonder Woman movie will actually see the light of day? Who knows! Maybe 2030? 2040? By then, we’ll all be too busy living in the Metaverse to care. 🤖
So, there you have it. Another superhero movie in the works. Get excited… or don’t. It’s not like Hollywood cares what we think anyway. 🖕
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
