Ah, CNN, still peddling the fear and pushing for more surveillance, I see. Now Samsung wants to track your every move and morsel under the guise of “healthcare.” Folks, this isn’t about your well-being; it’s about data and control.
They tell you healthcare costs are rising (thanks, Obama!), and old folks want to stay home (because who can afford those socialist nursing homes?), so Samsung is here to “help.” By “help,” they mean monitor every twitch with their new smartwatch. It’s all part of the leftist agenda to turn us into compliant, data-producing drones!
And of course, they’re trying to beat Apple. It’s always about competition, but mark my words, Apple is probably in bed with the CCP, too. Samsung claims their advantage is already being in your home with appliances. Yes, because what’s more comforting than your fridge reporting your midnight snack habits to Big Brother?
They’ll measure your antioxidant levels with LED lights – because apparently, eating a carrot is now a high-tech medical procedure. And don’t forget the AI-powered health chatbot. It’s only a matter of time before it starts pushing the Green New Deal and telling you to eat bugs instead of steak.
Smart glasses that analyze your food? This is how they’ll shame you into eating vegan. It’s not about health; it’s about control. And don’t even think about using an iPhone with your Samsung watch. Gotta stay loyal to the ecosystem, comrade!
Active discussions about working with Apple again? Probably figuring out how to share your data most efficiently. Stay vigilant, patriots. They’re watching.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
