Oh, CNN, always with the sob stories! This time, it’s about some local Iowa news anchor, Jodi Huisentruit, who went missing in 1995. Thirty years later, and the liberal media is still trying to milk this for sympathy points. Probably trying to distract us from Biden’s latest gaffe or the border crisis THEY created!
So, this darling of local morning TV, who had the glamorous job of waking up at 3 a.m. (sounds like my kind of gal – hard worker!), vanished without a trace. Car keys bent, red heels scattered – sounds like a typical Tuesday night after happy hour, am I right? But seriously, folks, this is Iowa. What kind of nefarious characters are lurking in Mason City? Probably some ANTIFA types who got lost on their way to a BLM protest in Des Moines.
The cops are still looking, of course, because that’s what they do, even though the woke mob wants to defund them. They even dragged some lakes, probably stirring up all sorts of environmental damage in the process! All this for a woman who “wanted to be ‘on the air, not in the air.'” Well, honey, you got your wish, didn’t you?
And get this, she took a self-defense class and was getting harassing calls. Probably from some liberal snowflake who couldn’t handle her conservative takes on the local news! They always try to silence strong, independent women.
They even looked at a friend of hers, John Vansice, who sounds like a stand-up guy, but the deep state probably targeted him. He maintained his innocence until the day he died, but you know how the left loves to smear good people.
Now they’re chasing some other dead guy, Christopher Revak, because his ex-wife lived in Mason City at the time. Talk about grasping at straws! This is what happens when you let the liberal media control the narrative.
But hey, at least there’s a team of dedicated volunteers, probably good, God-fearing patriots, who are still trying to solve the case. They even have billboards up, reminding everyone that “It’s time.” Time for what? Time to lock her killer up, and maybe time to wake up and realize that the real criminals are the ones running this country into the ground!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
